Vegetable and Cannellini Bean Soup || Recipe


You'll need:
1 Can of Cannelloni Beans (or chick peas) || Mashed
1 Small Onion || Diced
1 Medium Sized Carrot || Diced
2 Stalks of Celery || Diced
1 Small Courgette || Diced
1 Tin of Diced Tomatoes
4 Cups of Vegetable Stock
2 Handfuls of Baby Spinach || Shredded

1 Clove of Garlic || Minced
1 tsp of dried Thyme
1/2 tsp of Sage 
1/2 tsp of Salt
1/2 tsp of Black Pepper

To serve:
Parmesan (optional)

Drain and wash your tin of cannellini beans. Transfer to a bowl and mash with a fork (or with a masher, if you want to be fancy).

Dice your onion, courgette, celery, and carrot.

In a small dish, mix together your thyme, sage, garlic, pepper and salt.

Heat up a tablespoon of oil in a deep pan. Add in your vegetables and herbs. Sweat the diced pieces for roughly 10 minutes (until a fork can pierce the carrot easily). Add in your stock and entire can of tomatoes.

Bring to the boil, add in your mashed up beans, give it a thorough stir.

Turn the heat down, pop on the lid, and let it simmer for roughly 25 minutes (keep an eye on it and giving it a good ol' mix every now and again.)

5 minutes before serving, add in your spinach and let it wilt.

Serve with soft fluffy bread!

Superdrug Beauty Haul: Birthday Edition


I, like many girls, enjoy playing with makeup despite the fact I'm not very good at it. Because of the whole 'not very good' aspect, I've never really invested (or rather, asked someone to invest a little for me - thank you, mother - as a birthday gift) in anything other than a £10 foundation that still makes me anxious thinking about. That's a lot of doe, yo.. Sorry, I won't do that again. I've aged so I'm clinging onto my youth, you know? PS: If you want to read about all I want to get up to this year, why not read my 21 Things I Want To Do When 21 post? Back on point, makeup is expensive but I like the process of painting a new person on your face. It's fun and, sue me, can be confidence building. A bit of red lippy and a girl can feel as though she can take on the world and go all Gal Gadot on people. 

I ordered this heap of goodies when the classic 3 for 2 offer was on, so yay. It's also good to note that Superdrug offers free standard delivery for anyone who has a clubcard. That reason alone is why I'll always be a Superdrug over Boots girl, just sayin'. I'll shush now, let's get onto the products. 
All items are listed below. 

The Products: 

- Anne x

21 Things I Want To Do When I'm 21


I look around me and everyone my age (or hell, younger) seem to have found their "thing". Something that they excel at or something they love, whether in their careers or personal life. They have planted the roots (the irony, am I right?) to their future, and I have yet to. It isn't exactly that simple as health prohibits me from getting out much or studying right now, it seems to be the boss of my world. I do get that, I accept that. But it's hard not to forget at times and throw a little pity party. I feel stuck in life at a young age and I don't fully know how to go about changing that with my limited capability. My life should be in my hands and yet I feel like I have no control. Someone professional that I recently spoke to suggested that I put myself out there and (re)discover things that make me happy or lead me onto the road that will aid in future happiness. So to pull myself out of this little slump and do my homework, I'm going back to the age old classic.. a list. Ground breaking. I do New Year resolutions every year, but I'm more prone to sticking to random ones that carry less pressure. Today, I turn 21. So here is a list of 21 things I want to either start doing or do more often to find happiness.

(1) Find More Doable Volunteer Opportunities
I tend to volunteer when special events are happening - which I love as it suits me perfectly - but I'd really like to branch out a bit and find new ways to volunteer that won't kick my health with a sledgehammer. I semi suck when it comes to looking into these things as I'm painfully shy and despise phone calls, which can shockingly be necessary sometimes. It's stupid, but an Anne thing. Alas, I've been looking and will continue to do so. I get back from California in September, so I have quite a bit of time between now and then to come up with at least a few ideas. 

(2) Enjoy Graphic Design More
I'm not professional in this field, nor am I by any means talented in it. It's a hobby and something anyone with photoshop could probably pick up. But I love it. It's an escape for me and I want to do more. I want to make the time to get better and to create little things that maybe someone will enjoy looking at. I have a few blog templates and graphics in my USB stick that exist only for the joy I had from making them. I don't know how to go about doing work for other people yet, but I'll figure it out. Right now, all I know is that I love it and that's all that matters.

(3) Take A Few Online Courses
As stated in the first paragraph of this post, health prohibits me from enrolling in an actual college. At least for now. But that shouldn't stop me from taking a few online courses and making an effort to find what I'm passionate about. Even if it's a certificate based course, it'll do good for me. I have the money put aside, I just need to decide on one and not double-guess myself. Ha! Good luck with that, future me.  

(4) Find A Skincare Routine
I'm blessed with semi clear skin (thank you, genetics), but I'm not an idiot and know that with age ought to come a sensible skincare routine that is more than a cleanse, scrub and moisturiser. 

(5) Embrace Drawing For Fun
Again, not very good but I gain enjoyment in doing it. I know of many who read to escape their worries but more often than not, that doesn't work for me. My thoughts are louder than the words I'm reading. Drawing however, takes my full attention. I like that.

(6) Be More Social On Social Media (the irony, right?)
I suck at interacting with those who don't shoot me a message first. It's an awful habit and I hate to be a cliché and say "I just worry about bothering them!" but it's true. A few years ago I was heavily into online roleplay, writing out a story and watching the characters literally come to life was incredible and took me away from the real world. But with roleplay, you have to add strangers and ask if they want to write. It was a terrifying concept to me. So on my laptop I had a post-it that had "Would you be annoyed if they messaged you?" written on it. Ah, good old psychology. I now just need to burn that line into my mind and take risks by striking up conversations with those around me (in a virtual way).

(7) Bake More Yummy Things 
Note to Anne: Baking is for life, not just for Christmas.

(8) Find Hobbies
This is kinda a sad one, I know. But I'm embracing it. I don't have hobbies, not really. I like to read, do graphics, and draw. But I wouldn't really class them as hobbies. Reading is a way of life, not a temporary thing you do. Graphics is partly for online "work". And drawing is a mental health exercise. I want to learn to knit, or play the uke, or make cocktails. I don't know. Something fun that I'll do for no other reason than to enjoy myself. 

(9) Complete NaNoWriMo, Again
I joined my partner in partaking in Nano for 2 years on the trot. We nailed the first year and it was the funnest November I've had in years. However last year it didn't go so well  as he had too much on his plate and couldn't find the time, so I let my own word count fail due to the entire reasoning of "I don't want to do it alone." Pathetic, right? This year, whether I do it with someone or by my lonesome, I'm gonna win and be darn proud of it. Here's to all-nighters and drinking a lifetimes worth supply of coffee in 31 days!

(10) Blog More, Freely
I have a need to make everything I write exactly how I imagined it, which can be daunting and often impossible. I raise my expectations too high for my own sanity and it regularly ends with a bunch of posts gathering dust in my "unpublished" folder. I need to be more blahzay. This is my blog and I need to follow my own advice and write for myself, not for some poor random chap who got lost online and ended up reading my rambles.

(11) Publish the unpublished 
To go alongside the goal above, I want to finish off those many posts in my 'unpublished' folder and stop double guessing myself. I started them for a reason.. right?

(12) Go To Scotland, Gilmore Girls Style

Me and my mum are planning our first ever vacation to the glorious ghostly place that is Edinburgh. I went there early last year (check out my experience HERE) with my boyfriend, but this time will be entirely different because it's just us girls. We've always spoken about travelling together but life has moved too quickly for us to manage that - isn't that always the way? So this is our chance to redeem our dream (I'm such a poet) and set off into the world by ourselves. Wow, Anne, way to be dramatic. Okay, we're literally going for one or two nights, but you knew what I meant! I'm looking forward to the experience. 

(13) Explore Veganism
Explore a vegan diet a bit more. I've done mini experiments before and my body really did thank me for it. An I already refuse to buy leather/fur or anything of that nature. I'm researching into the cruelty free category. I'm just worried about crossing over into the "obsessive" category, but I'll figure it out. Just need the right support system and mentality. Easy peasy.... right?

(14) Personal Style
I'm that girl that owns a million (okay, like 15) "out there" pieces of clothing, yet only really wears the same outfits on rotation because I'm too afraid that people will judge me or think I'm stupid for dressing up. I long to wear tulle skirts, petticoats and bows on my head. So, why don't I? Even if it's just a cardigan with too much frill or matching my coat to my shoes, I want to express myself more through fashion.

(15) Save/Invest In A Decent Camera
Right now, I use my Samsung phone to capture the moments I want to remember and the quality is really great... on screen. Sadly when it comes to viewing them on a laptop and/or printing them out, the quality goes to meh which saddens me. So, yup, I want to at least get a roll going, even if it's a few pounds a week. 

(16) Take More Personal Photos 
Whether with a fancy smancy new camera or just my phone, I want to take more photos that I'd actually want to print and frame. Flat-lays are great and all, but I very much doubt I'll remember that specific shot in 5 years time. 

(17) ... And Print Those Photos
And again, to go with the two above, I want to print out the many, many, many, many, many photos out that I have on my laptop. I tend to  be quite good when it comes to printing out personal favourites, but those other 4,729 photos in my "My Cat" folder are special too! Okay, I may have to narrow those down a little.

(18) Say "No" More
That's probably the opposite of what most people put on their "to do more" list, but I've always been a bit backwards. On the app Habitica (blog post will be up soon about it, promise), I have a habit that is "Say No To Something You Don't Want To Do". And you know, I've ticked it a fair amount but 9/10 times, the thing I said no to still happened. It's like some people ask for your opinion but still just go forward with what they originally wanted to do. I may as well as not of answered, and that bugs me.

(19) Experiment With My Hair
Silly one, I know. But I'm the kind of girl who gets easily stuck in habits, Both good and bad. And I'm semi bland. So when the prospect of changing my do comes up, I back away fearful just in case something goes wrong. That is no way to live. So I here by pledge to chop my hair off if I wanna. Or hell, dye it blonde with vibrant green streaks (That's very unlikely to happen, but ya never know). Life is too short, so make the hair shorter.

(20) Share More Of What I Love
Sharing things, no matter how little, has always been a terrifying thing to me. Partly because I tend to get shot down when telling someone about something that I like as people only tend to look for the negative in it.

"I actually really like this song. The lyrics are beautiful."
"His voice is horrible though." *cue making fun of it*
"She inspires me."
"Her new show completely flopped, you know? Must be desperate for work."
"This is one of my favourite books."
"Nice. I heard it's not that good."

It's exhausting and does put me off, as I end up leaving the conversation feeling stupid. But it isn't a good thing to close people off from the things that you hold dear in your heart, as how will anyone get to know the real you if that's the case?

(21) Make An Effort To Find Myself
Cliche, but true, I don't know who I am. At all. I know I'm a young girl with a bit of shoddy luck but a positive attitude when it comes to said luck. I know I'm engaged to a great man. I know I'm depended on by a good handful of people and that terrifies me. I know.. Well, I know I'm mostly defined by those who love me. And that scares me. I need to find out who I am (me-to-me) before I can build my life around others, because that's just not healthy. And I'm terrified at the prospect of this final "habit" changing aspects of my life.

- Anne x

Bath Musings Ep.02 || "I'll admit, change scares me."


Bath Products Used: Radox Feel Good Muscle Bath Soak 
Baby Oil. Generous Squirt. 

Songs Listened To: Getaway Car, Lea Michele
Arms, Christina Perri
Intertwined, Dodie Clark
Letting Go, Gabrielle Aplin
Without You, Clare Bowen ft. Sam Palladio
Dreams, Dana Williams ft. Leighton Meester 

Minuted Wasted: 42.

I'm heading toward change. I know it, everyone around me knows it. But I don't know whether I'm entirely ready to embrace it. I kinda want to hide in my bubble and allow everything to sweep past me, I want to be the blurred background of the photograph and not the focused one up front - I'm tired of looking like I'm in focus when I feel everything but. I fly in roughly two weeks to visit my partner for almost three months. I'll be away from home for three months. Those words aren't yet sinking in. The last visit was for five weeks and although I felt perfectly at home there and the time seemed to move far too quickly, I did miss my own home. Or rather, the people there. My mum and Bruno (that'd be my cat for those who don't know. PS: In Grace Helbig Style: "Your life is different now!". Bruno is the best.) I missed watching things with my mum, and having the option of company 24/7 with people I know off by heart. I guess like most people, I missed the homey feeling that comes with your original family home. It's to be expected, right? And I know I'm incredibly lucky to have the option of Skype and Facebook and WhatsApp so I don't feel the distance, but rather know it's there looming it's dreary head. 

I'll admit, change scares me. It isn't the distance or the length of this trip, it's what is going to follow it up. I'm scared that I still won't yet feel ready to pack up my life and send it flying (literally) halfway across the world. Or worse, I'm scared  that everything will fall into place and I'll be ready. I know, I know "Don't look so much into the future. Focus on the now, what you want today." And you're right, hell, it's the advice I'd give to someone who was rambling about this to me. But here's the thing: I'm not sure who I am as a person, so how can I be able to figure out what I want for the rest of my life? I'm so god damn young, and lost. I don't even know what my hobbies are, or what I want to study. I don't know if I want to embrace veganism or simply appreciate from a distance. I don't know whether I want to buy a desk for my room - only, I guess that wouldn't be an option if I'm living 50/50  in two places. God, it's confusing. I keep finding myself wanting to make plans for a few months time with either my partner or mum, and they keep saying "Only you might not be here.". It isn't sinking in, and I don't know whether I want it to. 

I'm foggy a lot and in those moments, I just want to be by myself in a place that I can call mine. I feel like I'm skipping a huge chunk of my life and forwarding the tape. Which is a good thing, I guess, as I'm incredibly lucky and have found someone who I would happily start a family with tomorrow - I get to miss out on the crappy dating moments that most have to deal with. And it isn't even about that, it isn't about either of my loved ones. It's about me. I haven't lived, I really haven't. Me and my mum haven't done half the things we've been talking about since I was a child, but then again, I don't think we ever would of even if I had no escape route. She's a homebody and I feel like I'm going insane if I'm cooped up for days on end. But then on the flip side of that, my partner works a lot and I'd be stuck in the house alone with nowhere in walking distance. Unlike at home (my childhood home), where I can go out into town any time I want and take myself out of the rut. I'm so conflicted, and this post isn't making much sense, is it? My thoughts are seemingly sped up today.

I want my worlds to collide, no matter how selfish that is to say. I feel like I'm debating taking myself out of this rut of a life, and just putting myself in another. Yay, me and my partner wouldn't have to solely rely on Skype for conversations, but then.. me and my mum would. Yay, I wouldn't be building my life and schedule around someone anymore, only, oh yeah, I would. Just another person. Yay, there'd be no more time-zone issues.. Oh wait, yeah. There would. Bloody hell. I wish I could take myself out of this cycle and just plonk me somewhere else - somewhere where the air is easier to breathe. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm both happy and unhappy in either places, for various reasons. And I just want a place where I can find a comfortable middle.

It doesn't help that when I try to verbalise these thoughts, people just assume I'm trying to leave them or say "It'll be hard." No kidding. I just don't think I'm ready for any of this, and it feels like I'm in an "All or Nothing" situation. I don't want to hurt anyone - myself included - but it feels like that's all everyone is asking of me. 

As Buffy would say, I'm cookie dough and I'm not yet done baking. But everyone is trying to eat me. 

- Anne x

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