My Social Media Anxiety: Why I Don't Comment Or Tweet You


I've never been the girl to go up to others and introduce myself. I've never been the first to strike up conversation, nor have I openly asked if someone wanted to hang out. So when I stumbled across the blogging community, it seemed like a fun idea. Interacting with people who are of a somewhat similar age group, who have the same interests, and being able to do it all through the safety of text - a shy persons dream. I started my blog after a trip to Germany to visit my online BFF (See blog posts Germany Part I and Part II for details), so I guess you could say that had given me the dutch (or German) courage to go for it. If I had to come to the decision alone, I would've likely talked myself out of it as I do when it comes to most things that involve putting myself out there. Yeah, as you may of guessed, I'm painfully shy. I nod more than talk in public places and mainly stick to people I know, never really able to push myself out far enough to break out of the "routine". I could go on to explain why I'm probably like this - homeschooling, being my mother's carer, BDD - but that isn't really the point.

Blogging seemed like an escape and almost a way of practising making friends, as sad as that may sound. But upon joining the likes of Twitter & Instagram and scrolling through the #bloggergals hashtag, I was overcome by crippling anxiety. I couldn't find the will to tweet people or leave comments on their perfect flatlays, why? I don't know. It suddenly felt like school all over again and I was the new girl having to introduce myself. I felt like a nuisance for the most mundane of things, like answering a question someone had openly asked. Or saying how cute I thought a bloggers cat was. It was idiotic and I knew it was so, but I couldn't control my mind with a push of the button - a flaw in making of human existence, if I do say so myself.

Once this shiny crystal vase had smashed for me, I realised just how quiet I was online. I hardly ever commented on Youtube videos, even when my favourite Tuber was asking for more comments, and once again that was because I didn't want to be a pest and embarrass myself. I rarely post on Facebook anyways, but I also don't comment on things even when I want to congratulate someone on something. Now that's a daft one and I know that as I type it out, but that doesn't stop it from being true. I don't know what my fear is exactly, or what I think is going to come from a mere "Congrats!" comment, but.. yeah.

As time has gone on, things haven't really gotten better. I still hold my breath when I send a tweet and anxiously reread it a dozen times before hitting send in case I've written something stupid or try hard. Then once it's out in the world, I reread it again for a further dozen times. I'll read back on old conversations just to find a flaw in something I've said, find it, and then fret over it for days. I'm the same way when it comes to public interactions, but for some reason I find my lack of virtual confidence more maddening. I shouldn't be this way and I know it. I ought to show appreciation of my favourite bloggers and comment on their hard work when a new post pops up in my email, but sometimes I just can't. It makes me feel nauseous just thinking about it. It can take me a few hours to reply to something as simple as "Great post! I love that concealer too." as I don't want to ruin their kindness with idiocy.

All of this could be down to Online Roleplay (Read Finding Myself With Online Roleplay to find out more) and that fact that I always had a character to hide behind, but I don't really know. That's the job of a future therapist. Not kidding, everybody needs therapy. Trust me. Been there, helped.

I don't know if there is an official point to this post or if it's just a mad woman's ramblings, but maybe someone out there feels the same..? And if it helps one person not feel the way I current do, even for a second, then it's worth embarrassing myself for. Social anxiety is written about so often online (as it should be) but I feel as though people hardly mention the other sides of it that don't really make sense.

My name is Anne and I mostly likely won't ever start the conversation with you, because I just can't. When I message or email you back, it's taken all my will and most probably a few hours worth of courage. Please don't judge me for it.


  1. I'm the same way socially in real life, but I'm a little better on the internet. Though when I was younger I used to go in chat rooms and just chat up a storm with a bunch of strangers all day with no worries. Now, I have no problem replying to a comment on my blog or on social media, but I do have trouble actually having conversations online (whereas I never used to). If someone DM's me or sends me a message on facebook, I get so anxious. I think this is why I'm friendless (only hanging out socially with family members of mine), and why I've been single for 4 years. I just can't bring myself to be social enough to meet people, and even when people try to talk to me online I end up shutting down and quit replying after so long.

    1. Thank you so much for the lovely comment. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like that. I think it's the added pressure of knowing that once you send something online, you can't really take it back - delete button or not. I actually met my fiance on a chat room, it is really easy to just talk to strangers there (as unsafe as that sounds, ha). I think again it's the ability to hide behind a screen name that makes it.. comfortable? Facebook and a blog are somewhat similar in the way of opening us all up like books. It's incredibly personal to know the ins and outs of someones brain, even if it's just reading about their favourite lipstick. And it can be hard to keep a conversation going online because people always end up answering with such a few amount of words, makes it awkward when you don't know if they're hinting for you to stop or whatnot. Blegh. Confusing times indeed. We need a "shy bloggers meetup".


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