My 2015 Overview.


So it's that time of year again, when us bloggers write down how our year has gone - our accomplishments and downfalls, and send our hopes for the following year into the universe. This is my first year participating in this, but I look forward to it. Okay, that's a tiny fib. I'm actually a little nervous, which is silly, I know. This is without question a personal post, but I want to start documenting my life better. It would be easy to just write about the good but we learn from the bad, and more often than not, I find the struggles in life shape us into who we are destined to be. Grand scheme and all that. So deep, I know. I digress, once again. I really need to get the hang of not rambling. So, without further adieu.. let's go.

I'm going to be blunt, this year has resembled that roller coaster ride in the third Final Destination movie for me. I wish I was exaggerating, but no. It's been a tough year, plain and simple. But it has also been a year of positive changes, which I want to leave 2015 remembering. But you are going to have to wait to hear about them, and read through the crappy parts first. You're welcome.

Losing a Loved One.
I know that you know that I know we are indeed talking about what some would call just a "pet" here. But at least 80% of you will understand what it means to lose someone who has always been there, pet or otherwise. I don't want to delve into this at this moment in time, so I'll just direct you to the blog post You Are My Sunshine which explains everything. But yes, most definitely the worst part of 2015 was losing a best friend. In a much different circumstance but similar theme, the one I treasure most lost someone he loved this year. And having to go through the motions of that while living countless miles away, was, well.. torture. His sadness was heartbreaking, knowing he was going through such pain.. there are no words. An uncle of mine also lost his second half earlier this year, and knowing the agony he was going through was.. bizarre. That may seem like an odd word to use to describe something so sad, but it's the only one I can think of. Usually we don't know when someone is in pain, people hide it behind closed doors, so to feel it in a room; watch the events unfold.. Indescribable. And yes, bizarre. I had been fortunate prior to 2015 in the sense that I had yet to lose anyone I have loved through death. Nor had I experienced the ordeal through someone else's eyes. In a way, I wish I could say that I understood what grief was before this year, to not appear sheltered and to say that I knew what to say to these people during the tough times, but to be perfectly honest, I still don't understand it. And I have learnt that that is to be expected. Nobody gets it, we just get forced to survive through it. No matter how hard. That may not make sense to anyone other than my own muddled brain. That's okay.

Oy vey. Love was arguably the theme of my 2015. Both with family, friendships, and relationships. And yes, in both the good and bad sense. The first big change was letting go of my first love. We'd be apart relationship wise for a good few months, but earlier this year was when The End would of rolled onto screen and those large plush red curtains would of closed. Almost 5 years. The friendship was and is what I miss the most. I hope that will one day fade, but I doubt it. It was and is a difficult thing to gloss over. The hard thing is, I do believe we could of stayed as friends. No matter how many people bark that it's impossible. We, in a sense, grew up together. But no.. The end credits roll, even when you don't want them to. There will always be some things they didn't wrap up.

Fibromyalgia is a bitch. Plain and simple. I went into this year midway through physical therapy classes, Since then I have completed over 5 months of appointments, a batch of hydrotherapy, and yet my health is still deteriorating. It's perfectly fine. This is probably the better of my low list, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a tad scary at times. I push myself and I can manage, but it's exhausting. Going through daily chores shouldn't be this exhausting to the body. Though, the hardest part to manage is often in the mind department. It can be mentally dehydrating. (Is that a correct term? Eh. Going with it.) I worry about how this will affect my future, and I worry that it'll keep going worse. But only time will tell. Anyhoo, yes. Not the greatest aspect of 2015.

And time for the lowest of moments....Glee ended. Okay, I'm kidding. Kind of. It was rather traumatic. Thankfully Scream Queens gave me my Lea Michele fix. Don't worry, I made it through. Is the mood lightened a bit yet? No? Okay, here's Bruno in a tie for your viewing pleasure..

Now you're smiling, aren't you? Great! Let's end on the highlights. The clock is ticking.

How can I not start with the very thing you are reading this off of? A 2015 resolution of mine was to start a blog. I'm not going to lie, I have created many in the past but always wound up chickening out and deleting the entire thing. But I learnt a world class secret, want to know what it is? Write for you, not for the people who may or may not bother reading your posts. So simple, and yet it took me years to figure out.  I'm a stress head and fret about the little things. Such as, I wasn't going to publish this post until I had taken a decent new "head shot" for my sidebar, as I've grown to detest the photo. So insignificant, and yet it was going to stop me from doing something that I wanted. Silly. I may not post often, nor do my posts have a great quality to them.. But I enjoy it. And that is all that matters. Thank you to anyone who has read anything I've written on here. My little corner of the internet always appreciates a visitor. Really, thank you. (That seems sarcastic, but it really isn't. Nor is this. Maybe my brain just reads everything sarcastically. Hm.)

My first vacation. My first time going abroad, or well, anywhere, alone. My first plane ride. The first time leaving my cat to fend for himself (He had my mother, I'm not a psychopath.). Oh, the first time leaving my mother to fend for herself. But most importantly.. the first time I did something entirely for myself. It was incredible and I wish I was vlogger so I could have something other than photos to look back on. But alas, I am not and never will be. You can read more about my trip here and here.

Paired with that great ol' Germany paragraph up top - friendship. One woman in particular, who was not only the greatest hostess a girl could wish for, but simply a beautiful human. Esma is undoubtedly the strongest female I know, hell, strongest human. And every year she surprises me by continuing to be a wonderful friend, and offering her support when it's needed. You always need a best friend, and I can only hope that she will continue to be the Serena to my Blair and the Christina to my Meredith for many years to come. We all need a person.

I did it! That's about all I really have to say on this one. But, hey first year and I managed to complete the word count. My chin may of been tilted a little higher than usual that day. I'll be gracious and confess that I never in a million years would of managed to keep going if it weren't for my writing buddy (and everything else buddy). He was my rock throughout, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Who needs adrenaline boosts from roller coasters when you have a deadline!?

This was one of my resolutions for 2015. Ironically, it wasn't time or health that held me back from volunteering in 2014, or 2013 for that matter.. It was confidence. Anxiety. A whole big thing that I won't bore you with as that isn't the point of this paragraph. Hello, we're on the good part. It was at the end of August that I waddled into a local charity sop and asked for a form. One step, and things just slotted into place. To be honest, it is bloody hard to juggle with the pain and I am often forced to cut down my hours due to it. But it's freedom, you can't put a price on that. It's something so small and so simple, but carries so much weight behind it for me. Plus you are doing something helpful, so bonus! I have also done a tiny bit with a local community thing and that has been equally incredible. As I am very unlikely to be able to hold down a job at this particular moment of time (pain and juggling it with being a carer for a family member), it's like my little escape from my bubble. Whether it be via handing out leaflets at a kids party, to sorting through bags of mostly junk..

Still in the volunteer category, I accomplished one of the things on my bucket list this year. Which was very obviously dressing as an elf and prancing around a grotto. Yup. Been there, done there. Mourning my elf costume.

Rediscovering Love, Differently.
Here we are again - love. I saved the best until last. Have you ever felt so incredibly lost and inhuman, that you fear the world around you will drop from under your feet at any moment? That you aren't worthy of the beauty of it all, so why should you belong here? Taking another human's spot? It all seems fictionalised for the worst reasons and you long for the silence. Maybe you know what I mean, maybe you are jut labelling me as crazy right now.. Either way, that's okay.  felt this way when this year began. I had already met this man, a friend; or that's what I tried to convince myself, this beautiful man. A heart of gold, words that could melt a coin, and a man who bore the gift of handing out laughter like it was as easy as a hug. He saved my sanity. He was the only one there and he didn't even realize it. To be honest, this post was written with the intention of documenting a year in my life. But now I'm writing, I see it, the reason for all these typed out words. A message to me, and anyone out there who is running scared from what they find unfamiliar. You see, this man, he appeared to offer me everything that I wanted, and most importantly, needed. He had it all in the palm of his hand and was offering it to me. Me! The girl who's heart still throbbed, and the girl who felt unworthy of one small compliment. How could I possibly accept it at this time in my life? I shouldn't of been happy, it was wrong on countless levels and I didn't accept his offerings for far longer than I ought to of. I guess you could say, I was scared. Scared that he would snatch his hand back after seeing my demons. He knew of them already, and yet I ran scared. Fear. Sodding fear. But you know what this silly man did? He said that it was okay, and waited. He didn't get mad, he didn't change anything.. Nothing changed between us. We continued to laugh. So.. The second time he asked, I pushed his hand aside and kissed him. Theoretically, of course. But that's how it felt. All those weeks wasted, thinking I deserved to continue to be unhappy for a wee while, for what? Even if you feel like you are the least worthy person on the planet to be offered something, big or small, if you desperately want it.. Do it. Don't make yourself unhappy. If you can change it, change it. And if you can't, I hope you find the strength to smile again.

So, yes. Love. Sweet love. My year started and ended with it, for two completely different reasons. And friendship vs. romantically. Someone somewhere can find the irony in that. I wouldn't change my current relationship for anything the world has to offer. For the first time in a good few years, I see a future. And yes, it does involve this certain gentleman but that isn't the point. He helped me want to live again. His love. Love. It's tragically beautiful.

This was a darn wordy blog post, my apologies. If you made it to the end, then.. I love you. Too much? Okay. I'll give you free chocolate. Or coffee. I'd go with the coffee. I hope your 2015 went well, or that you will at least step into 2016 with a smile on your face and hope in your heart.

My resolution post should be up soon.
Happy New Year, ya filthy animal. (Oops, wrong. I can't let go of Christmas!)

- Anne x

❆ The Christmas Tag ❆


I was looking for a Christmassy post to write out, and remembered BroganTatexo doing a tag video that was originally made by someone else. Chain reaction. So I watched, wrote down the questions, and we're off. I need to stop doing a chit-chat at the beginning of the a blog post. I also need a greeting. "Howdy!" doesn't really seem to cut it nowadays. Plus I'm Welsh, not Southern. Wish I was though. Anyhoo, I digress, read on. Please. Maybe. It's right there, go on..

What's your favourite Holiday movie?
I want to say Elf. But my heart says The Santa Clause. Or Black Xmas.

What are your favourite Christmas colours?
Red and green, you can't beat the elfness of it. I'm still on the hunt for a perfect red skater dress that I can pair with a green cardigan and embrace the festiveness.

Do you like to stay in your PJ's or dress up for Christmas?
I usually dress up, just for the novelty of it. I'm not really a PJ's girl (I know, I know.. Blogger sin. Burn me at the stake,).

If you could only buy one person a present this year, who would it be?
As you can probably guess, this is an impossible question to ask. So, I'm going to go with my cat. Just to be fair to my loved ones. Not at all because it's my honest answer, nope. That'd be crazy. Or would it be? Yeah. It would. Would it?

Do you open your presents Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?
Both! My and my mother swap one present at Christmas Eve night (Usually cheesy Christmas PJ's for her, and an oversized t-shirt that has something Christmas themed on for me.), and we open the rest on Christmas morning.

Have you ever built a gingerbread house?
Nope! I really want to though,  Just need someone to eat it for me. Any volunteers?

What do you like to do on your Christmas break?
Six words: Three day Christmas movie marathon. Food.

Any Christmas wishes?
I'm going to assume this question is asked directly to me. As in, I can't wish for peace on Earth or for millions of happy faces come Christmas morning. So to be perfectly honest, no. Not really. I, of course, hope that the day will be as beautiful as it is magical to young children. I'd just wish for a happy Christmas. One I look back to come future years and smile at the memories. If Santa also wants to steal a certain American in a sleigh and drop him at my doorstep, that'd be nifty.

Favourite Christmas smell?
Tinsel. Hands down.

Favourite Christmas meal or treat?
Terry's Chocolate Orange, but the mini exploding candy ones. Or the tube of pink Smarties. They scream Christmas to me.

So, there you have it. I apologize for the randomness of this post but I was in the mood to post something and failed miserably at coming up with an original idea. I hope you enjoyed the quick read.

I wish you all a Merry Christmas, or just a lovely week if you don't celebrate it. Hug a loved one.

- Anne x

Krampus: A Bloody Holiday Treat.


Tis was the week before Halloween, and a girl was awake, 
searching for horrors, Krampus was a happy mistake.
The promise of wreaths and a blood bathe galore,
oh sweet Gingy made her long for more.

Okay, so maybe lyric rewrites aren't my speciality. And if you don't know who Gingy is, I question your movie taste. (Shrek, just FYI.) This is normally my boyfriend's corner of the Internet, as I am no reviewer and pretty much suck at getting my thoughts across eloquently. I'm a mess in the brain department, but also a horror buff. And a little crazed when it comes to Christmas. I am actually writing this while wearing a Christmas cat apron, and accompanied by the jingle of the bells on my antlers. Because, well, why not?

When I first saw the trailer for Krampus way back in October, I knew I needed to see this movie. There was no question about it. There appears to be a major lack in the Christmas-Horror world. Sure, you have the obvious choices like Black Christmas, Silent Night Deadly Night, P2, Silent Night (They like using that pun, huh?), but there aren't enough to keep me entertained throughout the entire month of December. The travesty! It's a joy to have a new movie to add to my list.

Now, let's get one thing out of the way. If you're going into this movie with either high expectations, or expecting to experience some sort of Rob Zombie movie, don't be idiotic. There's a killer gingerbread man in one of the trailers. Come on now! I had the displeasure of viewing Krampus with a guy who apparently expected it to be some spine chilling horror, and bitched about the silliness of it for hours later. I'll repeat for good measure, it has a killer gingerbread man in the trailer. 'Kay?

Krampus is pretty self explanatory. It's about Krampus, the horned opposite of Santa from Alpine Folklore. He supposedly punishes children who have misbehaved, unlike Santa who rewards them. That is a real simple way of putting it, if you want to read more Google is your best friend. But you are here for the movie review. So.. Upon the opening scenes of Krampus, I laughed, went awww, and was slapped in the face by festiveness. To be completely honest, I was a little worried as I started to debate whether we were in for a Gremlins experiences (nothing wrong with that!), and not much horror going on. But I was proved wrong not long after. Was the start of the story a little dragged out? Maybe. But I appreciated the opportunity to get to know all the characters. The dysfunctional "classic" american family, who bicker constantly and have one child who wishes for a perfect Christmas.

Said child was played by Emjay Anthony, his character Max Engel was arguably the main character of this movie and he did a pretty good job at playing the role. Parks and Recreation's Adam Scott played the loveable father, and Toni Collette (The Sixth Sense, Fright Night, Little Miss Sunshine) played the meh mother. They were decently written characters but there wasn't much to note. David Koechner (The Office, Anchorman, Final Destination 3) played Howard, the character you loved to hate. He was possibly my favourite solely for the fact that he made me laugh in every scene he was in. It also starred Conchata Ferrell (Two and a Half Men), Krista Stadler, Stefania LaVie Owen (The Carrie Diaries), and Allison Tolman (Fargo). The acting was good, but cheesy at times which I think was the goal. It was a cheesy gore feast.

The story itself, as I previously mentioned, revolved around Max. A young boy who wants nothing more than a perfect Christmas with his family. He wishes for this in a letter to Santa, but after getting teased and causing a "little" family tiff, rips up said letter and chucks it out of his window and into the night sky. The scene is beautifully shot as the pieces of paper magically get pulled into a mini tornado of sorts and we watch as the power of the town goes out. You have to give the movie at least that. With the blizzard outside, the arguing family's only question is how they are going to survive the upcoming few days (not the mention Christmas itself!) without any gas or electricity. If only they knew..

From that moment on, the movie really gets going. The first death scene has great suspense, and although you know exactly what is going to happen, you still find yourself wanting to yell at the character to move it. Other "frightful" scenes are a mixture of horrory and just plain silly, but that's the joy in it. The elves we meet later on in the movie are bloody terrifying, and a take on them that I haven't seen in any other Christmas/Horror adaptation.

Time to be a Grinch and mention the things that I didn't enjoy about the movie. The first death that I mentioned above involved one of the many children in this movie, and I felt as though the parents managed to forget about said child with a blink of an eye. They wanted a search party, and then boom... Let's all barricade ourselves in for the night, forget him/her. That annoyed me. Secondly, we get a little expected tale midway through the movie to explain who Krampus is. But it's animated. Say, what? Yes, it was beautifully done and fun, I suppose. But it did take away from the horrory aspect a little. Unless I am missing something completely obvious, it was just weird. And lastly (ironic), the ending. It was.. Well.. Three people said "what?" as the end credits rolled. I saw it coming due to a fairly obvious spoiler you will realize once you watch it, but it still doesn't make absolute sense to me. But you know what? I enjoyed the fun of getting to the ending so much, that I kinda don't care. Which is a terrible thing to say, I know. But.. Did I mention I really like horrors and Christmas?

This was undoubtedly a movie that had a better atmosphere in theatres. I jumped a grand total of twice during the film and that is pretty darn impressive for me as I am dead on the inside and hardly ever get a fright when it comes to horrors. Saying this, I doubt I would of had I seen this for the first time on DVD. The surround sound most definitely played a part in the scare factor. The other thing I'd like to mention is that if you have a phobia of clowns you may want to skip Kampus. My mother is, and she wound up in the fetal position and felt the need to ask me to go to the toilets with her. So, yup. May want to consider that.

All in all, I enjoyed Krampus  and it was exactly what I went in expecting. It had the Christmas movie feel without being a proper one, and didn't take itself too seriously which made it all the more enjoyable. I'd recommend you go to the theatres to watch it if you're interested in a good bit of horror style cheese, but otherwise maybe wait for it to go down to £7 in the sales next Christmas. And as I said in the beginning, if you take movies seriously, give it a miss. You may wind up a tad wound up.. Or even, tinselled up. Get it? I'll stop typing now.

Merry Christmas!

- Anne x

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