Unappreciated Christmas Movies
11/27/2022
My household is a strong believer in hoarding Christmas movies. Throughout the month of December me and my mum marathon all of our festive flicks and force the cheer onto ourselves. The only problem with this is that we have come across some questionable movies (Christmas Angel comes to mind), but.. yeah, you guessed it, go you! We have also come across some gems that were hidden behind the classics such as Home Alone and Elf. Here is a speedy list of my favourites, be sure to let me know of yours in the comments below!
Christmas Cottage
10 Horror Sequels That Sucked
10/26/2020
It may be controversial in the online horror lovers group, but I actually love a good horror sequel. I will happily look past unrealistic twists for more of the same slasher goodness. However, every now and again a sequel comes and leaves me hanging my head in shame for wanting to watch it. I uploaded a '10 Horror Sequels That Were Better' blog post, so this is my follow-up with the 10 that thoroughly disappointed me.
Jeepers Creepers 3
Starring: Victor Salva, Stan Shaw, Meg Foster
Jeepers Creepers is a great franchise. The Creeper really creeped (heh) me out as a child, especially in Jeepers Creepers 2. The overall story is fun without being corny and I think they tied the first two movies together wonderfully. They both stand up, which is rare for horrors. When they announced Jeepers Creepers 3: The Cathedral years ago, I was enthusiastic. The original plan as to combine both the two survivors from the movies and have them go hunting for the Creepers. Yes! However, it then kept getting postponed and eventually just vanished. Then out of nowhere they released Jeepers Creepers 3. Oy vey, what a hot mess. Not only was the story severely lacking but the acting was atrocious. The only reason to watch it is for the last 60 seconds which will hopefully lead to 'Jeepers Creepers 4' with the original plot idea for 'The Cathedral'. Painfully disappointing.
It Chapter 2
Starring: Jessica Chastain, James McAvoy, Bill Hader
I didn't grow up watching the 1990 version of IT so I wasn't a huge fan. However I thoroughly enjoyed the remake that was released in 2017. The child actors were awesome and I loved the Stranger Things vibes it gave. I was looking forward to the second chapter, especially as it seemed to take forever to get released. But... meh. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it definitely didn't stand up to the first movie. All the actually creepy scenes were shown in the trailers or teasers and though the actors were well known, no one really stood out with a great performance. I also didn't care for the death scene of a queer character, it felt very unnecessary and a little icky given Stephen King's questionable retweets or comments. All in all, I just wouldn't give it a rewatch. Highly disappointing.
Wrong Turn 6: Last Resort
Starring: Sadie Katz, Aqueela Zoll, Anthony Ilott, Chris Jarvis, Roxanne Pallett
Granted, I should've stopped watching after Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, but I love a good cannibal horror so me and my mum have stuck with this series through the good, bad, and truly ugly. I thought the 3rd and 4th movies were bad, but I just didn't know about the trainwreck that was coming with Wrong Turn 6. This would very likely be on a list of the worst horror movies I've ever watched, and I've seen some idiotic movies. There are so many things that I hated about this movie but the main points would be the unrealistic plot 'twist' that the writers took with the villain family, it makes absolutely no sense if you've watched literally any of the other movies. And the stupid amount of nudity that we see of only the female actresses - we didn't see one wiener but have no fear, we see every single actress butt naked at least twice. There's rape of a man that is dismissed as 'he got hard'. Just, blegh. It's awful, never watch it. At this point, if a horror stars Roxanne Pallett just run away.
I'll Always Know What You Did Last Summer
Starring: Brooke Nevin, Torrey DeVitto, David Paetkau, Ben Easter
This one probably breaks my heart the most. I Know What You Did Last Summer is a great 90's slasher with an impeccable cast. I personally equally love I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, the 2002 sequel, though I know some found it disappointing. However, I think we can all agree that the third installment was just embarrassing. Not only do they fully remove the scare factor by making the killer a literal ghost, but the characters don't connect to anyone from the previous movies making it pointless. The acting was iffy, the death scenes were so badly done, and the plot was laughable. Let's just pretend this doesn't exist!
Leatherface
Starring: Stephen Dorff, Lili Taylor, Finn Jones
In the style of the Rob Zombie 2008 remake of Halloween, this Texas Chainsaw movie is the origin story of Tommy aka Leatherface. We follow a group of teenagers who escape from a psych hospital and make their way across Texas (most being forced by a gun wielding duo). I had hope for this movie but it fell incredibly flat. Instead of resembling anything like it's franchise, it instead felt like a cheap knockoff that you'd find in a bargain bin. It lost the entire spark of Texas Chainsaw and made absolutely no sense if you're familiar with Leatherface's timeline.
The Strangers: Prey At Night
Starring: Christina Hendricks, Martin Henderson, Bailee Madison
At this point, I think The Strangers is the ultimate cat/mouse horror. You enclose a couple in a house who are being psychologically tortured by a masked trio and you have a fun horror time. Most horror fans were anticipating the much wanted sequel but Prey At Night just wasn't it. It majorly messes with the timeline of the story and all the characters seemed to be making an effort to do the stupidest things possible. It was very hard to care when they died and as they weren't just in a house, it made the overall movie lose it's scare factor.
Halloween III: Season Of The Witch
Starring: Tom Atkins, Stacey Nelkin, Nancy Kyes, Dan O'Herlihy
Do I even need to say anything? This seems to be a cult classic for people but I really do not get it. Even if this didn't connect to the Halloween series it just.. isn't a good movie?
The Woman In Black 2: Angel Of Death
Starring: Phoebe Fox, Helen McCrory, Jeremy Irvine
This is the most recent sequel that disappointed me. I wasn't a huge fan of The Woman In Black but I did enjoy it's eerie atmosphere so when my husband wanted to watch the sequel, I was done. I was hoping for some more creepy shots and maybe a jump-scare or two. However, this wasn't even creepy. It didn't feel like a horror movie in the slightest, nor did it feel like gothic horror. It was incredibly slow without very many atmospheric scenes. I have never yawned more.
Joyride 2 (Known as Roadkill 2 in the UK)
Starring: Kyle Schmid, Nicki Aycox, Nick Zano, Laura Jordan
I love the first Joyride movie. It's arguably the best of the road cat/mouse movies. Paul Walker, Steve Zahn, and Leelee Sobieski make for a great early 2000's cast. The sequel, however, is a huge mess. It's way too torture scentric for the franchise, and Dusty Nail really lost his touch at making your spine shudder. In the sequel he becomes your average killer without any backstory.
Jigsaw
Starring: Laura Vandervoort, Callum Keith Rennie, Brittany Allen
The Saw franchise has had highs and lows but as a whole it's enjoyable. I personally preferred the later movies in the series as it had more of a continuous storyline. When Jigsaw was announced I was thoroughly confused as I think the series had done a swell job of wrapping everything up. Nevertheless, I had a tiny bit of hope. What a waste of hope! I said it above with Leatherface, but again, this just felt like a poor attempt at making a movie that's inspired heavily by the Saw franchise. It was incredibly unnecessary and seemed like a money grab with no substance.
Horror Movies To Watch On A Date Night
10/20/2020
10 Horror Sequels That Were Better
10/12/2020
We're at that spooky time of year where we watch Hocus Pocus on repeat and fight the urge to watch Halloween H20 everyday (just me?) It's no secret that I adore a good horror movie. You can read all about my history with this movie genre in my 'Why I Love The Horror Genre' post. I think 90% of horror movies now have sequels, so here's a list of all my favorites that I scandalously think are better than the original!
The Descent Part 2 (2009)
Starring: Natalie Mendoza, Shauna Macdonald
The 2005 movie The Descent has always been a favourite. A group of women venture to an underground cave for an adrenaline filled weekend away, only to discover that they aren't alone down there. I've seen a recent surge of love for the movie as I think it was finally added to some streaming network, however, I rarely see people talking about the sequel. Was it realistic? No, but so darn enjoyable which automatically gives it more of a rewatch value to me. In Part 2 a group of rescuers go in search of the missing woman mere days since they vanished. I think both movies take place over 36 hours which is such a fun touch.
The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)
Starring: Daniella Alonso, Jessica Stroup, Lee Thompson Young
Now, we're talking about both the original 1977 The Hills Have Eyes, the 1984 sequel, and the 2006 remake here. The first two movies didn't have rape as such a huge scare tactic which does automatically put them higher in my mind. Rape in horror always puts me off as if it's a decent enough horror, you shouldn't have to use sexual violence to scare the audience. It's cheap and disgusting. (Don't even get me started on movies such as Eden Lake, I Spit On Your Grave, and The Last House On The Left. Blegh.) However, as horrors go, I didn't find the first two very creepy. They had that classic Wes Craven feel which I'm still unsure about. I know, I know, I automatically sacrifice my horror lover badge for saying that. The 2006 Hills Have Eyes had a great secluded feel to it, if you don't already know, the movie is about a family on a roadtrip who break down in the desert where inbred cannibals reside. The 2007 sequel is about a group of National Guard trainees who find themselves battling the same cannibals. What I personally think made the sequel better was how quickly you care for the characters. It made for a more high-stakes watch. The deaths were more gory, and I think the writing have the cannibals themselves more depth. But like always, I suggest you fast-forward the rape scenes.
Halloween (2018)
Starring: Jamie Lee Curtis, Judy Greer, Andi Matichak
I could very easily put Halloween H20 here as it's my all time favourite movie. However, I think 2008 Halloween that completely retconned my favourite movie from the franchise was.. *sniffles*.. better. The story, acting, characters, everything. That scene where Michael puts his mask back on? Classic. I also think it'll age very well, unlike some of the other movies in the series. Don't fuck with Mothers, basically. I'm so glad it wasn't a dumpster fuck like the Rob Zombie movies. I'm still personally offended at those "movies".
Final Destination II (2003)
Starring: A. J. Cook, Ali Carter, Tony Todd, Justina Machado
I recently rewatched this franchise with @BilliamSWN and color me surprised! I always thought that the third installment in this series was my favorite but I have to officially change it to the second. I know! The third is unquestionably a better overall movie. The three year gap between movies really did a lot for the overall quality of the filming and death scenes. However, now I've realized that the second is such a better overall story. It's cheesy AF but in an endearing way and I really like how it connected to the first with Clear.
Conjuring 2 (2016)
Starring: Vera Farmiga, Patrick Wilson, Madison Wolfe
The first Conjuring movie sucked if you're familiar with basic plots from paranormal movies, I'm sorry. The only thing it had going for it were the better effects and actors. However, The Conjuring 2 was made to scare us all. (Ignoring the thin man thingy which was dumb) I don't know what it was about the second to really bring it, but it was so good. The child actors were all great (unlike 89% of horror movies) and I enjoyed the in-depth look at Ed and Loraine's relationship away from the paranormal stuff. The added bonus of it being Christmas time also thrilled me.
Ouija: Origin Of Evil (2016)
Starring: Elizabeth Reaser, Lulu Wilson, Kate Siegel
I think we can all agree that Ouija was a clusterfuck of a movie. The teens were basic bitches that literally did everything that was mandatory for them to die. Plus the plot was literally an entire Supernatural episode, plot twist and all. Like, huh? However, the sequel was rather enjoyable. I'll admit to mainly watching it because it starred Esme from Twilight but it surprised the heck out me. The "jump scares" were decent, the story itself was realistic as far as paranormal movies can be, and the ending didn't make me roll my eyes. If you're looking for a haunting type movie, I fully recommend this.
Annabelle: Creation (2017)
Starring: Talitha Bateman, Stephanie Sigman, Lulu Wilson
Another movie from The Conjuring universe? Yup. Annabelle was a huge let down. It was filled with cliché jumpscares, obvious plot twists, and 'my wife is just going crazy, let's not believe her' moments. So when Annabelle: Creation was announced I was dubious. However, this was darn good. Creation is centered around a nun and six orphaned girls who move into a farmhouse with a couple who are still mourning the death of their daughter Annabelle. Yup, this is the origin story of that creepy ass doll. There was something so wholesome about this movie while still keeping it's intended freaky elements. The child actors were incredible in their roles and it really sparked a desire in me to foster or adopt.
The Purge Anarchy (2014)
Starring: Frank Grillo, Carmen Ejogo, Zach Gilford
As a movie, The Purge has such a cool synopsis. When the first trailer dropped I was so enthusiastic. In a bid to dispense of the lower class, the government has made every crime legal for a 12-hour period each year. I loathed the first movie, it fitted into every cliché possible and good God the characters were insufferable. I hated them all. But then The Purge Anarchy came to save the franchise. The sequel revolves around a group of people who accidentally find themselves outside during The Purge and are thus forced to fight for survival. The characters in this were flawed, diverse, and great. You want them all to survive, which is a miracle when in comparison to the first when I was hoping every single one of them idiots died. I really loved Leo's character in Anarchy and if I'm ever in a situation like this, I want him and Arkin from The Collector with me.
Scream 3 (2000)
Starring: Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox, David Arquette, Patrick Dempsey, Scott Foley, Parker Posey
Scream was one of the first horror franchises that I remember watching as a child and automatically loving. As it was originally intended to be a trilogy, I think Scream 3 did a wonderful job at wrapping up the story. The twist was surprising and aided in making the story come full circle. Sydney is a scream queen icon and I personally found this to be the movie that put her in the 'bad ass' category. The story within the story aspect of the movie was also really fun and came much more alive in this one with the actors playing Sydney, Dewey, and Gale becoming entwined into the actual characters lives. A whole lot of fun.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning (2006)
Starring: Jordana Brewster, Matt Bomer
Texas Chainsaw is a franchise with so many different remakes or reboots. I've lost count at how many new 'the beginning' movies we've had. Alas, the 2005 is superior in so many ways. It's a great origin story for both leatherface and the family, as I think we can all argue that the sheriff is the real monster. I liked how it only had four actual main characters, meaning that you get more time to grow to care for them without it being a huge cast with the obvious intention of getting a higher kill count. I also found the gore and violence in this movie much more unsettling than the others.
Are there any movies on this last that you have yet to watch? Let me know!
Witchy Movies | Recommendations
10/09/2020
The Craft
Starring Neve Campbell, the unspoken horror queen, this is a classic among horror lovers. In theory, it's much more of a thriller but it's so well-loved that you ought not to argue. When new girl Sarah's telekinetic gift appeals to a group of three wannabe witches, who happen to be seeking a fourth member for their rituals, things quickly go from Gothic to hellish. Made in 1996, this was undoubtedly a huge step for female empowerment. A main female cast without it being overly sexualised? Yes, please. This movie creeped me the hell out as a child, but now I adore it. The clothes, friendship, power, everything is perfect. And to top that, I think the theme of being swayed into the dark-side is something that still stands up today. Just replace Satan with social media. If you're having a witch marathon, this has to be on there.
The Witches
Based on the Roald Dahl book, I don't hear enough people recommending this movie. Starring the queen Anjelica Huston, this movie is set at a witch convention as they plan to turn all children into rats. This movie actually scared me as a child, which is rather laughable now when I look at the special effects.. I mean... the picture. But nevertheless, this is a good cheesy witch movie that you may laugh at, but still find yourself enjoying. They're also rebooting this and it's set to star Anne Hathaway. Okay, I'm down.
Practical Magic
Possibly my favourite pick on the list, this Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock unappreciated flick is absolutely perfection. Based on the book by Alice Hoffman, this is a story of the ties that keep us tethered to our family, and the expectations that puts upon us. The Owens family have never shyed away from their witchy ancestry, the children in the neighbourhood run past their house, the housewives fear that the witches will steal their husbands, they're basically living that #WitchLife. But of the two sisters Sally wants to put this life behind her. She wants to be normal. I've seen a few people call this movie campy and fun, but in my opinion, it definitely has more of a Gothic feel.
Bewitched
Nicole Kidman is seemingly the witch to beat on this list. Many people flat-out-refuse to watch this reboot in a form of loyalty to the original TV show, which I get. When movie-star Jack (played by Will Ferrell) is set to play Darren in a remake of the beloved Bewitched, he demands that Samantha be played by a nobody - to not outshine him. Enter in Isabel, an actual witch who is trying to fit into society without being discovered. What better disguise? This has a very clever plot, which prevents it from taking the magic away from the original. If anything, this is a love letter to the TV show. All the witchy themes, a glorious cat, and pure enjoyment.
Darkness Falls
Now, in theory, this is a tooth fairy. But that stems from witchcraft, so I think this counts, right? Right. A town in Maine is tormented by the witch Matilda Dixon, an old woman who was murdered by a mob in the 1800s because the townspeople thought she was killing children. But in her afterlife she has one weakness, she can't be seen in light. I love this movie, it reminds me of my childhood and I get all that good nostalgia when it's on. Plus in the age of movies like A Quiet Place, Birdbox, and Silence, I think this fits into that niche wonderfully. Who isn't a tinniest bit afraid of the dark?
What witch movies do enjoy? Let me know! Witches of Eastwick is on my to-be-watched list, but I'm failing to find any others.
Movie Double Features | Recommendations
10/03/2020
Movie double features are a guilty pleasure to all of us. There's nothing better than finishing a movie and instantly having the ability to watch another thing of the same theme. Usually when I see these kind of posts online, it's in the style of 'what you can watch on Netflix!' or Hulu or Amazon or whatnot. However, I enjoy the classic method of movie watching and keep to DVD's or VHS tapes. So, if you're unable to watch both on the same streaming service, I'm sorry. Am I the only person like this? Let me know!
This is a joint post with my husband @BilliamSWN so be sure to go ahead and check out his version over on the SomewhatNerdy site.
Female empowerment in the horror genre is an underappreciated thing. I'm thinking of doing a post entirely dedicated to that, but let's not digress too strongly. I love a slasher that gives me a boost, doesn't sell sex in place of horror to earn it's rating, and has a main character that isn't as dim as the contrast. More a cat&mouse thriller than slasher, P2 quickly made it onto me and my mother's most watched horror movie list, and not just because its a Christmas movie. It's Christmas Eve when office worker Angela get's kidnapped by security guard Thomas who has an obsession with her. I've seen this described as torture porn, but it absolutely isn't so don't let that put you off. Though you don't see anything, there is a trigger warning for rape but nothing like that of Hills Have Eyes, The Last House On The Left or, heaven forbid, the god-awful I Spit On Your Grave franchise. I would never recommend rape in a movie, so take a gamble and trust me on this one. I adore P2 for Angela's complete badassness that makes you fist-pump the air multiple times. In a similar boat, we have You're Next. A more traditional slasher horror following the style of The Strangers and No Vacancy. A guy brings his girlfriend Erin home for a weekend to meet his family. When they're suddenly attacked by strangers wearing animal masks, Erin's childhood of being a part of survivalist camps comes in handy and she literally kicks everyone's ass. Ever watched a horror movie and thought/screamed 'you should do this!'? Erin literally does every single smart thing you like to think you'd do if in a similar situation. Yay for #GRLPWR.
Blade Runner 2049 || [spoiler-free review]
10/21/2017
A Cure For Wellness is a mystery/drama starring Dane DeHaan, Jason Isaacs, and Mia Goth. The story follows Lockhart, a newly promoted executive who is set with the task of retrieving his company's CEO from a wellness retreat located in the Swiss Alps. Upon his arrival there, things appear not as they seem. All patients are "sufferers" of the same illness that supposedly only Dr. Heinrich Volmer has the cure for.The questions mount as Lockhart is forced to become a patient himself and befriends a strange girl named Hannah who is said to be a "special case". Will he be able to leave? And what is the cure?
Straight off the bat, this movie had a good idea but was poorly executed. It didn't seem to know when to end, which makes for a crappy time when I tell you that it comes in at over 140 minutes. It had plenty of time to find itself, but sadly just never did. I had more issues with certain aspects/scenes of the movie, but we'll discuss those later, for now, let's start with the moderately okay.
The first half of A Cure For Wellness is good. You have a entertaining plot (some predictable, but not all), decent characters, and beautiful imagery that keeps your eyes pleased throughout. Actually, the entire movie is shot beautifully and you can get a glimpse of that in the trailer, which I assume you've seen. (If not, click HERE). The actors fit well into their roles - most notably Mia Goth as Hannah, who gave me major Cassie from Skins vibes. Everything was enjoyable.. The story progressed smoothly and although they kept adding questions onto the pile of mysteries, it still had me gripped. I wanted to know what was going to happen next. In the second half, there are a few graphic scenes of gore that I, as a slasher fan, enjoyed. They were moderately graphic and realistic, which was appreciated. The entire movie was wrapped up quite nicely, and neither me or my partner saw some of the outcomes coming (say that 10 times fast) - which is a rarity. In fact, around the halfway point, I was thinking "I'm pleasantly surprised to how this is going.". But then I ran into a brick wall of problems.
As stated on any site that offers the rating of this movie, (it's rated R, just fyi.), there is a scene of sexual assault. Now I didn't know this going in, and I wish I had. Truth be told, I would've likely skipped A Cure For Wellness altogether if I had known. I usually find with these types of movies, the assault isn't needed to progress the story whatsoever. You may disagree, and that is perfectly fine. We're all allowed our opinions. Safe place, people. I might write up another blog post altogether about this particular topic as I find myself having a lot to say on it, but I won't stray too far away from solely discussing A Cure For Wellness here. If you want to go into this movie completely blind or assault in entertainment doesn't faze you, skip down to under the last photo.
The sexual assault was unneeded. Simple as. It didn't add anything new and didn't affect the outcome of the plot. They could've easily ended that particular scene 5 minutes before anything sexual began, and us as the viewers would've known exactly what was being implied without having to sit through the discomfort of watching a human be degraded on film. It was graphic but not in the way you might imagine. It wasn't "artfully" shot, nor was it full on. It was simply.. hollow. And lengthy once you realise it wasn't going anywhere. You could argue it was in there for the shock value and yada, yada. But hear me out, films such as I Spit On Your Grave, Last House On The Left, Eden Lake, and Hills Have Eyes have scenes of graphic sexual violence, but the difference is, they are of the horror genre. A Cure For Wellness is not. It is marketed as a mystery/drama. As told by some, even the non-consensual sexual scenes in Game of Thrones amount to something bigger i.e the becoming of a strong female character or whatnot. (Don't quote me on that, I'm going solely on what I've heard and not seen.) But alas, my roundabouts point stands. In A Cure For Wellness, sexual assault had no place.
Adding onto that, what infuriated me more was the way the movie handled Hannah's character. Keeping in mind that she is said to be in her early twenties and yet the only youthful woman with a large role in this movie, the assault scene is close to coming in at second place when we play the "what made you most uncomfortable about A Cure For Wellness?" game. It felt like large chunks of the movie was spent commenting on how naive and innocent Hannah is, but in the creepiest way one can imagine blokes noticing that. She seemed to constantly be doing things that she didn't want to do/wasn't sure on, because a guy suggested it - all the while they knew she wasn't comfortable, and that fact just never came to light or amounted to anything. It seemed as though viewers were just meant to accept that for what it is, which left a bitter taste in my mouth. She quite clearly had a mind of her own, but you rarely got to delve into that which kinda defeats the entire purpose of having a character like her. They kept her a shell.
The overall character growth in this movie was lousy, and that's a shame as they chose great actors who fit perfectly into their individual roles. Hell, if it wasn't for the two major key points that I didn't like, I may of recommended this movie to you. After all, the mystery aspect held strong, which is what A Cure For Wellness seems to be at heart. It just went astray with disturbing scenes and unnecessary shock value - which just didn't work for me.
Did A Cure For Wellness suffer because it had too much time and not enough story so they added in random crap, or did the editor quit so they just pushed everything together and hoped for a decent outcome? We'll never know. I enjoyed the movie for it's visual beauty and the rare but notable heart-pounding scenes, but sadly that is where it ends. I hope to see Mia Goth in more future roles (hopefully not just as the pretty face, her being a model and all), as she added the much needed depth that the other characters failed to bring. She was the standout for me.
I'm not a reviewer so I shan't rate this out of numbers, but I'll give it a strong 'Meh'.
Don't Breathe, 2016 | Movie Review
9/21/2016
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