Life Update || I'm Engaged!


Yup, that's right. I am now an engaged woman. My best friend popped the question under a white wooden arch in his garden (after I sabotaged his original plan. Sorry, love.) and I said yes. Well,  duh, of course I did. Not only is he a wonderful man so I'd have to be mad not to, but this post is tilted "I'm Engaged!" so it would be awfully clickbaity if I had said no. This isn't Youtube.. Jokes, jokes! I digress. I wasn't originally going to write anything on here about this change in my life as I didn't know what there was to say. Okay, that's a lie. I was worried it wouldn't interest anyone. But this is my little nook of the Internet and I want to document these things to look back on - much like my Photo Per Day series. I know it may not be exciting to a random reader but it's important to me, so that's what I need to go on.

My better half lives across the pond in the not-so-sunny California, so as you can imagine, the next year of our lives will be complicated. Immigration, visas, certificates, interviews, tickets.. I already have an ongoing headache caused by it all. But I need to keep looking at the end picture. He's my sanity. For years I've felt as though I've been watching my life through a foggy window. Nothing has felt particularly real until I was stood in front of him. Sounds crazy and perhaps a bit dumb, I know, but it's the truth and I can't shy away from talking about that. It feels as though my mind hasn't been in a healthy state since my age was in single digits. I still don't particularly feel like my pieces have been put back together stably, but they're holding up and that's more than I could've said 3 years ago. My other problem has always been my mind running off with me. I was talking to him about this the other day. My mind seems to enjoy running back to the past for the happy (or not as happy) moments, or worrying about the future when it isn't a certain thing yet. I live in the past or future and rarely in the moment. He keeps me present. He stops my mind from wandering too far off with a mere touch. I didn't know that was possible.

Wedding Plans: We hope for the wedding to be in July, or early August. Yes, of this year. Partly because we want to start our forever as soon as we're able to. It will only be a small occasion with less than 25 guests, which was a easy peasy decision to make when crowds are my kryptonite. We hope to renew our vows in a few years when money flows a little easier and we're better equipped to invite a bigger party and throw a more "socially acceptable" wedding. This time, it'll be quaint, private, and romantic as all hell. We're in the process of trying to pick a date that suits both sides, as I'm hoping to fly my mum out to be there to give me away. *sappy tears* Any other family members are more than welcome to come, but I know it's a tricky thing to ask given the cost of flights and such. It will be strange not really having people there on my side, but to be entirely honest, I'd hope for my wedding to small in the UK too. Anyone who knows me will know that.

All of this may seem sudden and many critics out there will be all; "What's the rush? Do you even know each other well enough to commit to something so massive?". All fair questions, but easily silenced by the feeling in our hearts and minds when together. I can't accurately put it into words, but when you know, you just know. I haven't a doubt in my mind that my person is safe in his hands. He's gentle and kind with my heart and mind, and that's all a human can ask for in this crazy world. The engagement wasn't a rash decision or question - we'd been discussing it for a few months - and we have gone over every possible detail or problem that will arise during our soon-to-be future. We aren't children, so if you're a family member reading this, please don't worry. We know what we're getting ourselves into. Trust our judgement. I will be going to him, because at this moment in time, it seems like the most logical option. It will of course be a big change, one I don't wholeheartedly know whether I'm ready for. But are you ever ready? Not really. Am I going to welcome the change with open arms? Yes.

The cat! Your cat! You may be yelling this as your eyes buldge with worry. Okay, probably not. But that was my reaction every time Bruno came up in conversation prior to the Engagement. We're going to play it by ear. I will be staying in the states for 90 days in July (as that's all my current visa will allow), and Mr. Bruno will be staying home. He doesn't do well with my absence; we're talking a strike to eating, wallowing in bed the entire time, and fits of anger towards my mother and anyone else who dares choose to existence in his universe when his mama isn't there. But, we have to think of the bigger picture. He's a 50/50 kitty and likes sitting in the garden with his independence in tow. He couldn't do that where my partner currently lives, he'd have to convert to being *dramatic music* an inside cat! We're hoping he'll somehow adapt to my not being there during the 3 months, so he can stay home with my mum - in an environment he knows. As much as that would shatter my heart. But, if he remains to be hidden in my bedroom, refusing to eat anything that isn't £18 chicken, and getting himself unwell from sadness.. He's going with me in the next (longer) trip. I haven't a doubt in my mind that he'll adapt and it'd be better for him to be annoyed at his place of living with me rather than being in his home but an emotional wreck for the remainder of his kitty days. We just want him happy, so evidently, this is Bruno's choice to make.

As always, there is plentiful more to go through and if you're like me, many things to scrutinise under a microscope for days on end. But everything will work out. I'm coming to learn that a life spent unhappy or unfulfilled is a life wasted. I have to go with my gut and that may simply mean growing up.

I want to do a few blog posts discussing various things about the wedding that'll come up (yes, wedding dress shopping included), so I hope you'll enjoy that and it won't get to be tedious. For now though, yay for engagements and free flowing champagne! I look forward to seeing where the next 6 months take me. I hope you join me for the journey.

- Anne x

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