Taylor Swift is a queen and I can only hope to get a little ray of her sunshine on my face by partaking in this book tag that was created by the lovely Enchanted Reader. Be sure to check out her video and consider yourself tagged if you're reading this post.

TAG QUESTIONS:

willow - a book that is a masterpiece

Know My Name by Chanel Miller. I will never not push this book on people. It's a truly painful read but incredible. Chanel Miller was the girl who got sexually assaulted behind a dumpster at a frat party in San Francisco and faced discrimination because of her race, gender, and age. But this book is much more. I'd argue that it's main focus is growth. Chanel Miller is an incredibly strong woman who had to rebuild her life after something so tragic and she managed to do it with grace. I cried at multiple parts throughout this book and felt empowered as a woman. I think about this book constantly.

champagne problems - a book that caught you off guard 

The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. This was the first true historical fiction that I read and it introduced me to what is now one of my favourite genres. This is the story of Vianne and Isabelle, two sisters who are trying to survive Nazi occupied France during WW11. Vianne is the more practical of the sisters, protecting her daughter being her main priority. Isabelle is reckless, driven by her youth, and wants to help the resistance defeat the Germans. I think the thing that The Nightingale has over similar books is how well written both the sisters are. They each had distinct voices and I was entertained by both their stories, which can be a rarity in a duel perspective novel. Don't let the size of this book put you off, I guarantee you'll fly through it.

gold rush - book with a gold cover 

The first one that comes to mind is one I don't yet own, Circe by Madeline Miller. I've heard an astounding amount of rave reviews about this book but I'm incredibly intimated by it. Circe is about, well... Circe, the the daughter of Helios, the sun god, and of the ocean nymph Perse. It's a fictional spin on her story and heavy on the Greek mythology. I'm terrified of being too dumb for this, which is such a silly reason to not read it but here we are. I don't know the first thing about Greek mythology so I feel like a lot of this would go over my head.

’tis the damn season - a winter/Christmas book

In A Holidaze by Christina Lauren was a huge surprise for me last year. I adored this festive read that plays on the trope of someone reliving their day over and over Groundhog Day style. Maelyn and her family spend every Christmas with another family at a festive cabin, in that family are two brothers who Maelyn has always been drawn to - one charming and one who is the definition of a playboy. (see where this is going?) An accident changes everything when it sends Maelyn back to the beginning of the vacation, forced to repeat it over and over. Will she manage to make one perfect? This is basically a Christmas romcom in a book. It was super fun. 

tolerate it - a problematic book

Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. This is my current read and while I am enjoying reading about her travelling journey, some of the phrases she uses are extremely questionable and have not aged well in the slightest. Using words such as schizo, rape, OCD, and other terms when describing things that have nothing to do with what she's saying. I also find the entire thing a bit anti-feminist with the constant obsession with men and her making a big show and tell of gaining weight and not caring, despite her still being of average size. It feels very much like 'white rich woman' problems, which I don't know how I feel. 

no body, no crime - a mystery/murder investigation book

I can't think of one I've actually read and enjoyed, but I did DNF The 7½  Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton a few years ago and never mentioned it on here, so let's delve into that! I really wanted to love that book as the premise sounded so intriguing what with a murder mystery that has a supernatural twist with the protagonist reliving the same day over and over but in different bodies. I just found the writing way too try-hard and the moment I got to the very fatphobic chapter I decided to call it quits. 

happiness - a book about hope

Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams. This book may not be for everyone, but I truly think the author nailed a story that has the perfect balance between misery and hope. Queenie as a protagonist is incredibly complex, and you hope for her to find happiness within herself. I enjoyed being a woman by the time I finished this book, which is honestly an incredible thing. 

dorothea - a book to movie adaptation

For this I'm looking to the future! The Hating Game by Sally Thorne has been adapted into a rom-com starring Lucy Hale (which I'm questioning the casting of) and Austin Stowell. The release date is still unconfirmed due to Covid but I'm very excited to finally watch it. I adored this book, it sparked a new love of modern romance novels for me. Lucy and Josh are the ultimate OTP. 

coney island - a book that brings back memories 

Matilda by Roald Dahl. I had this book physically and on tape growing up (the OG audiobook) and read it constantly. It truly sparked my love for reading as I saw myself in Matilda to an uncomfortable level. Whenever I reread this children's classic I revert back to being a young girl obsessed with literature. 

ivy - a book you can’t help but love (guilty pleasure read)

Vampire Academy by Richelle Mead. I've said it before and I'll say it again, these books aren't exactly high tier reading but they're honestly so addictive. This was the first YA series after Twilight that had an actually strong-willed female cast of characters. Rose, Lissa, Mia, Sydney, and even Jill (or or hate her) are fleshed out complex characters who I fell hard for. I recently reread the entire series and had a wail of a time. 

cowboy like me - a book you didn’t expect to love but did 

Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann. I'd never even watched the movie before picking up this 500+ page TOME. Call it a moment of madness, or perhaps a wonderful case of fate. I adored this book and you can read all about that here: Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann | Book Review [spoiler free]

long story short - a short book (under 300 pages)

The last short book I picked up was Often I Am Happy by Jens Christian Grondahl which I ended up DNFing at the 50% mark. This book just wasn't doing it for me. It was a mix of the over writing, the story itself seeming a little lost, and most notably, I didn't think the author was doing a good job at writing from a woman's POV. Life is too short to continue reading a book that you aren't enjoying.

marjorie - a biography 

Can you answer with anything other than Becoming by Michelle Obama? I read this via audiobook in 2020 and fell in love with a woman who has achieved greatness in so many ways. I already admired Michelle Obama but this really humanized her to me. If you've been putting it off because of the dreaded fear of a dry biography, lemme tell you, this is anything but that. I laughed, got choked up, and instantly made my husband read it. 

closure - favorite last book in a series 

It hasn't been announced yet as to whether there are going to be more books in the series, but as of right now, I have to go with The Tea Dragon Tapestry by Katie O'Neill. This is the third installment from their Tea Dragon series and I adored it. These graphic novels are incredibly wholesome while still openly discussing more serious issues. It will be an achievement if I ever get through a Katie O'Neill book without shedding a tear.

evermore - a book that was painful to get through 

A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. I'm going for the more emotional side of painful, and oh boy, I still get a heavy heart when I think about this beautifully done novel. You will either love or hate this book, purely because of the intensity of the pain that it radiates. Jude, the protagonist, is a deeply wounded human being who has had a horrendous life and the constant relapses that he has throughout A Little Life is very hard to read. Whenever something vaguely happy happened, I wanted to put it down and pretend that it was the ending. 

Answer one of these questions in the comments! And remember, you're officially tagged if you're reading this. 

February was a successful reading month quantity wise, but quality..? Iffy at best. I only included some of the books on this as I didn't have strong feelings toward the other books I read and it's already March 10th, sooo.... Let's delve into all the books before I fully go on a tangent of disappointment and self hatred. 

Tangerine
Christine Morgan 

When a friend from the past comes back into Alice's newly married life, things seem to go from weird to weirder. Lucy Mason was always the wild girl in Alice's youth, but now as adults the familiar habits from the past seem to resurface making Alice question everything - even her own sanity. 

This was fun! The thing that really impressed me with Tangerine was how classically it read. If you told me that it was written in the same era as Rebecca or Jane Eyre, I'd believe you. The writing has such a great atmosphere around it, which truly makes for an immersive reading experience. I went with the audiobook, which was a lot of fun. The ending was predictable, but in a "oooh, ahhh" way, not in a frustrating way. 

Outlawed 
Anna North

Ada is a young girl who is accused of being a witch in 1894. In a bid to save her life, her mother sends her away to a convent and from there she ends up on a path to become an outlaw with a ragtag group of women who disguise themselves as men to survive.

A feminist take on a western? Yes! This had all the means to be a spectacular novel. Sadly, Outlawed fell a little flat. At under 300 pages, this should've been fast paced with a list of characters who had the means to have automatic chemistry (to help the reader care).. but it didn't. The middle of this novel drrraaaggggeeeddd. I felt like only two of the characters were complex enough to be memorable to me. Meh. As this is a debut, I'll definitely pick up anything else the author writes as this was a very cool idea for a story. 

You Should See Me In A Crown
Leah Johnson 

Liz Lightly has been denied a scholarship to her dream school. She's trying to find a solution when the wonder that is Prom Queen seems to materialize out of nowhere - the winner will receive enough tuition to really make a difference in the girl's life. But if she's willing to go through that journey she'll have to face the other female candidates, rekindle her friendship with the popular guy, and fight her feelings for the new girl.

I wanted to absolutely adore this book but I found it incredibly.. underwhelming? I don't know whether that's down to the fact that I was on a roll of reading some adult fiction that focused on some pretty dark topics so my mood was off, or whether it just isn't my cup of tea. I could see younger me absolutely loving the innocence that was laced throughout this novel, and completely shipping the two girls. But reading it through adult eyes just made me question whether the characters were written too young for their ages. The protagonist especially seemed pretty naïve when it came to honesty, and made some pretty silly mistakes. I wanted her to have a stronger head on her shoulders. Saying that, I think the book did a great job at making college her prime focus and not the relationships. More YA books should be like that. So to summarize, not my favourite YA contemporary but one that I'm glad exists for the younger generation. 

The Vanishing Half
Brit Bennett

As teenagers Desiree and Stella ran away from home, each twin wanting to get away from their small southern black community and venture into the big city. But pretty soon their torn into directions. One twin running away with a boy, and the other refusing to relinquish her hope to live a white life. Years later, the twins lives are beginning to come back together. 

This has so much hype online and it's so deserved. I'd previously read The Mothers by Brit Bennett and felt so-so about it as the commentary on abortion felt a little one sided (against Choice). I fully understand that it's hard to write two sides of an argument without favoring one. Some people had the same problem with Miracle Creek by Angie Kim. However. The Vanishing Half was a breath of fresh air. I adored the characters, the plot kept me captivated until the very last page, and I think it was immaculately written. The only thing stopping me from giving this a 5 star rating is that I felt the ending was a tad rushed.  

Home Body
Rupi Kaur

This is the third poetry collection by the glorious Rupi Kaur. Poetry is such a divisive genre, especially the more modern style that is often dismissed as "Instagram poetry" which is mildly infuriating as just, ya know, let people be. I personally enjoy any form of poetry, but the more modern style was definitely an easy introduction into the genre as a whole. Saying that, this wasn't my favourite of Rupi Kaur's collections. I felt like it was rather timid in comparison to Milk & Honey and The Sun and Her Flowers. It felt a little dragged out and the overall order of the sections felt off. I only tabbed 3 pages, which is pretty sad. I will read more by the author, but yeah, not my favourite and wouldn't necessarily recommend. 

Let's Pretend This Never Happened
Jenny Lawson

I adore Jenny Lawson. We should all bow down to this absolute blogger queen. I read her second novel Furiously Happy last year and absolutely loved it, it pulled me from an epic reading slump and took my down a nonfiction path which is still going strong. This is her first novel, and though I didn't enjoy it quite as much as Furiously Happy, I still devoured it with a huge smile on my face. If you're unfamiliar with Jenny, she's an online personality who started out as a blogger who wrote about mental health. She has very recently published a new book Broken (in the best possible way), which is on my March TBR.

In The Dream House
Carmen Maria Machado

 Carmen Maria Machado went through an abusive same-sex relationship, and this is her memoir accounting each step that led to the breakdown of their "love". Told through an array of vignettes, poetry, and essays, this is unlike anything you have read. The format of this novel is groundbreaking alone, but if you add Machado's unfiltered thoughts that read as pure beauty.. dayum. I have yet to see anyone who didn't admire this book for it's originality, smarts, and bravery. It takes guts to write anything like this, but especially non-fiction. The vulnerability that the author put into this novel is admirable. Of course, this is a book on 

Before the Coffee Gets Cold
Toshikazu Kawaguchi 

There's a café hidden within Tokyo, that offers some customers the ability to time travel. This power brings a group of could be strangers together.

This was a rather predictable book but in the most comforting way possible. In the same vein as Anxious People by Fredrik Backman this, at heart, is about humanity and the many ways that can impact the lives of people who are struggling. I devoured this book as fast as my eyes would let me. I teared up at multiple points and, surprisingly, laughed a fair few times. This is such a warming novel that I fully recommend you to read. The sequel is high on my TBR. Saying that, there's a cat on the cover but not in the book? HUH? False advertisement. 

Sing, Unburied, Sing
Jesmyn Ward

On a roadtrip to pick up his father from prison, Jojo and his dysfunctional mother are forced to try and rectify their broken relationship. We jump between two timelines, one told through the eyes of a ghost (..yeah..) and the other following Jojo as he comes to terms with his life and family relationships.

This is a very atmospheric novel. I didn't realize that this was the second book in a series, but alas, it read like a standalone. This gave me HEAVY Toni Morrison vibes. I found the writing lovely but yet sometimes too lyrical for my comprehension. This felt entirely like a book that ought to be studied at school as it had so many layers to each chapter that I guarantee most of it went right over my head. Because of this, it felt a little flat. 

What My Mother and I Don't Talk About : Fifteen Writers Break the Silence
edited by Michele Filgate 

This is a collection of essays written by various authors who discuss their relationships with their mothers - some bad, some good, some complicated.

I picked this up solely on the recommendation by Lianne and I'm so glad I did. This book touched my heart in such a way that I automatically bought it for my mum after turning the last page. This had such a rawness that it felt like a readable wound, and yet.. it felt hopeful. The strength that some of these authors showed through their words is remarkable. Everyone will take something from this novel, no matter the relationship you have with your parents. I wish more people were talking about it. 

Every Body Looking
Candice Iloh 

This is a semi autobiographical novel telling Ada's story. From her earliest memories as a child, including her abuse at the hands of a young cousin, her mother's rejection and descent into addiction, and her father's attempts to create a home for his American daughter more like the one he knew in Nigeria. 

I've read a lot of novels that are told through verse and for that reason alone, I think my expectations were just a little too high going into this. It needed more of a poetic element to feel powerful, which for me, it just.. lacked. I think the author would've been better to choose a period of her life and stick with it instead of trying to cover 19ish years. The cover is immaculate though. 

Buy a Book

Is there a higher act of self love than purchasing yourself a book, getting all cozy in either your bed or on the couch, having a glass of wine or a cup of hot tea in your hand, and taking a few hours to escape from your brain? If money is tight, you could also use your library (online) and put a hold on a book that you've been wanting to read. If you're in the US, you can sign up for your library and instantly have Libby at your fingertips - a library app where you can borrow either ebooks or audiobooks. They have so many to choose from, so be sure to clear a few hours to decide on one. 

Educate Yourself

Self love can be making the decision to further your brain. There are heaps of free "classes" on Youtube, but you could take this a step further and actually sign up for some classes through your local educational system. If that's not an option for you, you can sign up for Skillshare which always offers some type of free trail. They have a huge catalogue of classes, from graphic design, to tarot readings, to taxes. Pick something and enthrall your brain.

Indulge In Your Hobby 

I don't know about you, but I find it hard to make time for hobbies as I feel like it's too.. indulgent? Yay for the automatic guilt of finding time for yourself. This v.day, whether it's reading, bullet journaling, puzzles, or whatever it is that makes you happy.. make time for it! Embrace something that you enjoy filling your time with. 

Embrace Teenage You

I think we all have a list of things that we really wanted to do as teenagers. Whether it's eating literal junk for dinner, rewatching our favourite movies for the thousandth time, or playing video games all day. Do the most scandalous thing you ached to do as a teen. For me, it'd be sitting in the garden with a good book and a questionable amount of redbull. 

Watch the Trashiest Movie You Love

We all have those movies that we can't help but love, despite the questionable plot or iffy writing. There's nothing quite like sitting down to some trashy entertainment. Personally, my vote would be for The Lizzie McGuire Movie, Get Over It, or 13 Going On 30. Enjoy a cringe fest, eat too many sugar, and bask in the silliness of it all.,

Find a New Recipe

Finding a new recipe to leisurely make as you sip on a chilled glass of wine is such an indulgence. Cooking for oneself can be a very intimate act and I think not enough of us partake in the simplicity. Find something easy to make (dinner or dessert), put on some good music or a podcast, and pretend to be the fanciest chef. 

Organize 

I know, I know, housework on a day that is marketed towards relaxation is odd. But, there is something so satisfying about finally tackling those areas of your home/room that are messy. We all have a super cluttered drawer, or maybe your bookcase is chaotic, or if you're like me, your closet is a literal bin where you dump clothes and close the door in a bid to ignore it. Do something for future you and create a space that helps soothe your mental health. Make it fun with good music, an audiobook, or some Youtube. 

Walk + Chill

Going for a walk at your own pace is quite the enjoyable experience. Now, this might be more of a niche suggestion as I know many of you are likely to just go for a walk without a second thought (though let's face it, Lockdown has probably made you hate the idea), but as someone who struggles with social anxiety I was always too nervous to take myself on a walk. The idiotic thoughts such as "what if I see someone I know?" always, literally, talked me out of it. But screw that. Going for a walk with music in your ears can be incredibly peaceful. 

Pleasure 

Am I pulling a Zoella and trying to get cancelled? Pssh, the Internet is mad. Anyhoo, there is nothing more literal for self love than purchasing a little something from yourself to yourself. I know Adam & Eve usually have some sort of discount code that allows you to get 50% one item, right now it seems to be "GET50NOW" but you have your Googlefu if it doesn't work. Treat yo parts, people. 

So, there we have 9 things that you can do this Valentine's Day to love yourself. But remember, it's literally a marketed day. No biggie. 

 

Act Your Age, Eve Brown (The Brown Sisters #3)

Talia Hibbert

Eve Brown is a certified hot mess. No matter how hard she strives to do right, her life always goes horribly wrong—so she's given up trying. But when her personal brand of chaos ruins an expensive wedding (someone had to liberate those poor doves), her parents draw the line. It's time for Eve to grow up and prove herself—even though she's not entirely sure how... Jacob Wayne is in control. Always. The bed and breakfast owner's on a mission to dominate the hospitality industry—and he expects nothing less than perfection. So when a purple-haired tornado of a woman turns up out of the blue to interview for his open chef position, he tells her the brutal truth: not a chance in hell. Then she hits him with her car—supposedly by accident. Yeah, right. Now his arm is broken, his B&B is understaffed, and the dangerously unpredictable Eve is fluttering around, trying to help. Before long, she's infiltrated his work, his kitchen—and his spare bedroom. Jacob hates everything about it. Or rather, he should. Sunny, chaotic Eve is his natural-born nemesis, but the longer these two enemies spend in close quarters, the more their animosity turns into something else. Like Eve, the heat between them is impossible to ignore—and it's melting Jacob's frosty exterior.

I have an eARC of this waiting patiently on my Net Galley shelf and this is the month I'll read it! If you've been living under a book community rock and are unfamiliar with The Brown Sisters series, these are some extraordinarily cute yet smutty romance books that will make you ache in all the best ways. I wasn't smitten with Get A Life, Chloe Brown as I think my expectations for the Fibromyalgia rep was always going to let me down, however, Take A Hint, Dani Brown was perfection. I buddy read it with the gorgeous @m.is.reading and it was a whole heap of fun. Talia Hibbert does a great job at interweaving series topics such as chronic pain, depression, and anxiety within a romance book without making either take a backseat. I'm positive that the Autism rep in this will be no different, and I'll turn the last page with both more knowledge on the illness and a metaphorical tent. It's February, give me all the smut. 

Outlawed
Anna Todd

The day of her wedding, 17 year old Ada's life looks good; she loves her husband, and she loves working as an apprentice to her mother, a respected midwife. But after a year of marriage and no pregnancy, in a town where barren women are routinely hanged as witches, her survival depends on leaving behind everything she knows. She joins up with the notorious Hole in the Wall Gang, a band of outlaws led by a preacher-turned-robber known to all as the Kid. Charismatic, grandiose, and mercurial, the Kid is determined to create a safe haven for outcast women. But to make this dream a reality, the Gang hatches a treacherous plan that may get them all killed. And Ada must decide whether she's willing to risk her life for the possibility of a new kind of future for them all.

It's no secret around here that I'm a sucker for a Reese's bookclub pick, I haven't had the best of luck as I tend to give them either a 3 or 4 stars, never in-between, but I can't seem to not be interested. Do I have the vaguest idea what this book is about? Nope! But that cover is glorious. And it seems like a feminist western..? Which, yes, please, always.

The Vanishing Half

Brit Bennett

The Vignes twin sisters will always be identical. But after growing up together in a small, southern black community and running away at age sixteen, it's not just the shape of their daily lives that is different as adults, it's everything: their families, their communities, their racial identities. Ten years later, one sister lives with her black daughter in the same southern town she once tried to escape. The other secretly passes for white, and her white husband knows nothing of her past. Still, even separated by so many miles and just as many lies, the fates of the twins remain intertwined. What will happen to the next generation, when their own daughters' storylines intersect?

I've been on my library's waiting list for this for over 6 months now so I finally sucked it up and just got a digital copy. I read The Mothers by Britt Bennet last year and fell in love with her writing. I was a tad iffy on the commentary on abortions in The Mothers as it felt quite anti-choice, however, I'm interested in what else she has to say and this premise sounds too good to pass up. Here's hoping the hype is justified..?

The Cactus

Sarah Haywood

For Susan Green, messy emotions don't fit into the equation of her perfectly ordered life. She has a flat that is ideal for one, a job that suits her passion for logic, and an "interpersonal arrangement" that provides cultural and other, more intimate, benefits. But suddenly confronted with the loss of her mother and the news that she is about to become a mother herself, Susan's greatest fear is realized. She is losing control. Enter Rob, the dubious but well-meaning friend of her indolent brother. As Susan's due date draws near and her dismantled world falls further into a tailspin, Susan finds an unlikely ally in Rob. She might have a chance at finding real love and learning to love herself, if only she can figure out how to let go.

I was reading this when my Grandma passed away, so naturally, I put this book very far away from me. However, I'm now feeling strong enough to give it another whirl. Again, this is a Reese pick but it's also on my 21 Books I Want To Read In 2021 list. Can we take a moment to appreciate the cover?

Sing, Unburied, Sing

Jesmyn Ward

Jojo and his toddler sister, Kayla, live with their grandparents, Mam and Pop, and the occasional presence of their drug-addicted mother, Leonie, on a farm on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi. Leonie is simultaneously tormented and comforted by visions of her dead brother, which only come to her when she’s high; Mam is dying of cancer; and quiet, steady Pop tries to run the household and teach Jojo how to be a man. When the white father of Leonie’s children is released from prison, she packs her kids and a friend into her car and sets out across the state for Parchman farm, the Mississippi State Penitentiary, on a journey rife with danger and promise.

Do you have a book on your shelves that is incredibly daunting for no good reason? This is that book for me. I think it's partly because of how heavy the synopsis sounds, it makes me expect very dry writing with a slow burning plot. I do want to read this though as everyone I know who has read it, has loved it. I'm torn as to whether I want to physically read it or go with an audiobook. Do you have a recommendation? 

The Book That Matters Most

Ann Hood

Ava’s twenty-five-year marriage has fallen apart, and her two grown children are pursuing their own lives outside of the country. Ava joins a book group, not only for her love of reading but also out of sheer desperation for companionship. The group’s goal throughout the year is for each member to present the book that matters most to them. Ava rediscovers a mysterious book from her childhood—one that helped her through the traumas of the untimely deaths of her sister and mother. Alternating with Ava’s story is that of her troubled daughter Maggie, who, living in Paris, descends into a destructive relationship with an older man. Ava’s mission to find that book and its enigmatic author takes her on a quest that unravels the secrets of her past and offers her and Maggie the chance to remake their lives.

All us bibliophiles love a book about books and I'm hoping this is going to fit that bill perfectly. This cover is extremely boring so I always forget why I want to read it until I reread that premise, so February will be the month! Mother/daughter dynamics in books tend to etch themselves onto my heart, as do books that have a subplot of a group of strangers coming together as a support system.

Homegoing
Yaa Gyasi

Two half-sisters, Effia and Esi, are born into different villages in eighteenth-century Ghana. Effia is married off to an Englishman and lives in comfort in the palatial rooms of Cape Coast Castle. Unbeknownst to Effia, her sister, Esi, is imprisoned beneath her in the castle's dungeons, sold with thousands of others into the Gold Coast's booming slave trade, and shipped off to America, where her children and grandchildren will be raised in slavery. One thread of Homegoing follows Effia's descendants through centuries of warfare in Ghana, as the Fante and Asante nations wrestle with the slave trade and British colonization. The other thread follows Esi and her children into America. From the plantations of the South to the Civil War and the Great Migration, from the coal mines of Pratt City, Alabama, to the jazz clubs and dope houses of twentieth-century Harlem, right up through the present day, Homegoing makes history visceral, and captures, with singular and stunning immediacy, how the memory of captivity came to be inscribed in the soul of a nation.

This has been compared to Girl, Woman, Other so many times which partly hurts my soul as we shouldn't constantly just compare books that have a similar theme BUT this sounds incredible. And intense. I struggle with books that span across generations as remembering characters is quite the challenge for me, alas, I want to read this. I'm amazed at how much depth people say this book has given the under 350 page count. I'm scared, but my expectations are high.

Difficult Women

Roxane Gay

The women in these stories live lives of privilege and of poverty, are in marriages both loving and haunted by past crimes or emotional blackmail. A pair of sisters, grown now, have been inseparable ever since they were abducted together as children, and must negotiate the marriage of one of them. A woman married to a twin pretends not to realize when her husband and his brother impersonate each other. A stripper putting herself through college fends off the advances of an overzealous customer. A black engineer moves to Upper Michigan for a job and faces the malign curiosity of her colleagues and the difficulty of leaving her past behind. From a girls’ fight club to a wealthy subdivision in Florida where neighbors conform, compete, and spy on each other, Gay delivers a wry, beautiful, haunting vision of modern America reminiscent of Merritt Tierce, Jamie Quatro, and Miranda July.

Hunger by Roxane Gay was one of the many memoirs I read last year and I was awed at her ability to write beautifully while still being brutally honest about her experience with body image. I do have Bad Feminist on my shelves, but there's just something about Difficult Women that's appealing to me more. This'll be my non-fiction pick for February. 

What's topping your TBR for February?

Record of a Spaceborn Few
Becky Chambers

Told through five different narratives, this follows a group of humans who live at the Galactic Commons. A sprawling universe of superficial intelligence, aliens, wars, and yet.. this group of people live normally. I suppose this is the first book in the Wayfarers series that explores humanity through actual humans, but it just read so... boring. I'm devastated to say that as I adore this series, this third installment simply felt unnecessary and like a stepping stone for Chambers to expand the universe. It didn't seem to have an actual plot, the characters were explored individually and yet only two seemed to have growth. It felt like I spend the entire novel waiting for something to happen. The writing was still very assessable and I didn't want to DNF, so that's why I'm still giving it a solid 2.5 rating. 

The Diving Pool: Three Novellas
Yōko Ogawa

Novellas are always hard to review/rate without delving into each individual story. This collection seemed to have a commentary on womanhood, loneliness, and growth. They were so weird that I truly can't wrap my mind around them. I enjoyed two and was completely thrown by one. If you've read other novels by the author (I strongly recommend The Housekeeper and the Professor) then you might want to pick this up. Her writing is seamless with very odd yet likeable characters. I want to read more translated work in 2021 and this definitely fueled my interest. 

The Guest List
Lucy Foley 

A group of people come together to celebrate the wedding of their respected party. But this isn't just any wedding. On a secluded island on the Irish coast, a group of people come together to celebrate what they peg as "the wedding of the year". Upper class Jules and popular TV personality Will make for the most picturesque couple. But things soon turn deadly when pranks go array and a body shows up. I was hesitant to pick this up despite the many raving reviews it has as the plot seemed a tad similar to books such as One by One and An Unwanted Guest, two books that I read last year and didn't wholeheartedly enjoy. However, this was such a pleasant surprise! The writing truly made this book addicting. I didn't want to stop reading and though the ending felt a tad rushed and predictable, I was enthralled! It reminded me a bit of the mini series Harper's Island. If you want a super fast-paced thriller with complex characters (aka: they aren't all just assholes), pick this up! HUGE trigger warning for self harm.

This Star Won't Go Out: The Life and Words of Esther Grace Earl
Lori Earl, Wayne Earl, Esther Earl, John Green

Esther Earl was a teenager who was diagnosed with cancer when she was 12-years-old. While sick, she discovered the beauty of the Internet world and immersed herself in fandoms to escape reality right up until she sadly passed away in 2010. She was a vlogger, author, and Nerdfighter. This is a collection of her writing, journal entries, online conversations, and art. I had never seen any of Esther's vlogs before picking up this TOME of a collection, but I had heard of her story through John Green. I honestly wept multiple times as I read this. At one point I had to go in the shower to cry. Esther was a beautiful human being who had so much to give to the world. I really appreciated how the words of her family and friends were included in the book as it gave it so much depth. I get that these kind of books may not be for everyone as reading some random journal entry about going to buy a CD may seem odd, but it just worked for me. If this has been on your radar, give it a try! It's never too late to read about someone's life. 

Side-note: Going off track here, but hear me out. Harry Potter is a very large topic throughout This Star Won't Go Out, Esther is heavily involved in the online Potter community and it led her to make beautiful friendships. It really made me think of the quote "Don't cry that it's over, smile because it happened.". Harry Potter has been a lifeline for so many people and we shouldn't dismiss them for continuing to love the books or movies. Yes, if they're continuing to support new things that she-who-shan't-be-named releases, they need to have a word with themselves. But I've seen a fair few people publicly shamed for continuing to have the books on their shelves or whatnot. It's okay to fall out of love with a creator, but not the world. You can't change the past. The Potter community is a place of love, and that can outshine the ugliness of Rowling. Just a thought.

Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows
Balli Kaur Jaswal

Nikki is the daughter of Indian immigrants, yet she's spent her life distancing herself from the traditional Sikh community. When her father’s death leaves the family financially strapped, Nikki, a law school dropout, impulsively takes a job teaching a "creative writing" course at the community center in the beating heart of London’s close-knit Punjabi community. Because of a miscommunication, the proper Sikh widows who show up are expecting to learn basic English literacy, not the art of short-story writing. When one of the widows finds a book of sexy stories in English and shares it with the class, Nikki realizes that beneath their white dupattas, her students have a wealth of fantasies and memories. Eager to liberate these modest women, she teaches them how to express their untold stories, unleashing creativity of the most unexpected smutty variety. I adored this book. It was the perfect balance between educational and fun. It was wonderful to learn more about the traditional life and ways of a Punjabi wife. The entire character list was great, and it was so much fun reading the banter between the women. I laughed out loud multiple times, which I wasn't expecting. All in all, a great all-round book. (Would make for a great buddy read!)

The Prince and the Dressmaker
Jen Wang

A intense bond forms between a Prince and a Dressmaker when the Prince hires her to make him dresses. Knowing that the kingdom will never accept him, the Royal sneaks out at night in flawlessly designed dresses and makes the town envious of his beauty. Oh my God, this was freaking adorable! I wasn't sure what to expect from this as it could've very easily been frivolous given that it's Middlegrade and about something that you don't always see in Children's literature. However, what a wonderfully done story. I think it gave a very convincing story of what it's like to be different and the hurdles that you have to jump over to be accepted. I liked that it had a somewhat bleak middle but came back around. But most of all, I really enjoyed that the Prince was straight but wanted to wear dresses. I sometimes feel like in books or TV shows, it's one extreme or the other. I feel like you rarely see the middle ground where someone's sexuality isn't in question, just their desires. This was simply a very well done graphic novel that I urge anyone to read. The art is also flawless. 

Eat, Pray, Love
Elizabeth Gilbert

Elizabeth Gilbert was in an unhappy marriage when she decided to call it quits and travel. (Self love at it's finest...?) Off to Italy, India, and Bali she went with only a small case and an advance for a book that she aimed to write throughout her travels. In Italy she fell in love with food, language, and herself. In India she found her Zen, peace, and love of life. In Bali she learnt to find spirituality. Okay, this is a semi controversial book nowadays, right? A lot of people class it as "white woman with money who is unhappy", and I fully get that. Elizabeth Gilbert is insanely privileged. But I still enjoyed this book. Learning about the different cultures and people was interesting. However, I can't in good conscience give this book a higher rating than 2.5 stars. This has not aged well, at all. There are so many slurs, questionable word choices, and iffy descriptions in here. I get that it was published 15 years ago, but jeez. I also found that some of her stories were very black/white. She never seemed to own up to any mistakes that she did. Meh. Overall, I'm glad I read this as it's on so many lists, but if you're searching for a woman's journey of self love, pick up Wild by Cheryl Strayed. 

I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness
Austin Channing Brown

This is a non-fiction look at the prejudices that a black woman faces in school, life, and business. Austin Channing Brown's parents gave her a white man's name in a bid to help her in life, and it works, right up until she turns up for an interview and is met with questioning stares at the fact that she's not only black, but also a woman. This is just one of the hundreds of things she, and so many others, have to face on a daily bases. This was a difficult book to listen to but entirely worthwhile. As a white woman I want to learn what I can do to help lift others, and this opened my eyes to so many things that I might overlook. It's hard to hear someone's pain, look at yourself, and realize that you aren't doing enough. Austin Channing Brown's strength radiates in her words and it's beautiful. I wanted a little more from this as I mistakenly thought it was part memoir, but I'm still thankful that I picked it up. I recommend the audiobook because.. goosebumps. 

Limelight 
Amy Poeppel 

Allison Brinkley has just moved her entire family to the dazzling lights of New York city. Her husband already has a job lined up, but Allison is struggling to find something that fits her. Enter in Carter Reid - a beloved popstar who has just been cast in a Broadway play who offers Allison an amazing opportunity to work within the inner circle of the rich and famous. Before seeing this at a library sale, I'd never heard of the book or the author but was drawn to it solely because of the Valley of the Dolls style cover. Yup, I'm that easily swayed into buying a book. Limelight gave me exactly what I was hoping for - a fun female protagonist, a bratty teenage popstar who just needs a mothering figure, and a commentary on "never being too old for a fresh start." In so many ways this book resembled the likes of early Taylor Jenkins Reid, Liane Moriarty, and Jojo Moyes. I feel like Limelight is the type of book that you'll already know whether you're going to enjoy simply by reading the premise. One thing I did really appreciate was the never wavering relationship between Allison and her husband. This story could've easily fallen down a cheating trope or divorce, but didn't. They had a healthy relationship which can be unheard of in Women's fiction. Fun, easy to read, and a great palate cleanser.

Shanghai Girls
Lisa See

Pearl and May are sisters, living carefree lives in Shanghai, the Paris of Asia. But when Japanese bombs fall on their beloved city, they set out on the journey of a lifetime, one that will take them through the Chinese countryside, in and out of the clutch of brutal soldiers, and across the Pacific to the shores of America. This book spans many years, from 1937 to the late 50's, and it's more of a look on the trails and obstacles Chinese immigrants had to face even in "the land of the free". I've never been more conflicted about a book. I wanted to really love this as I hadn't yet read a historical fiction from this narrative and a sisterly duo is one of my favourite things in books. However, this was a torturous read. And I mean that literally. There's a graphic rape scene in this that made me want to put the book down altogether as I felt physically sick. It didn't shy away from any brutality that May and Pearl faced and I don't know whether I needed that much pain in this story. May was an insufferable character that I ached to shake, both her and Joy (a character that comes later in the story) ruined the overall reading experience for me. I'm a little interested in picking up the sequel Dreams of Joy as the first novel did end on a cliffhanger, but, dayum. I may just read a spoiler review.

What was the best book you read this month? I'd love to know!

Faye, Faraway by Helen Fisher is a time travelling adventure novel with the bond between a mother and daughter at heart. Faye is a thirty-eight-year-old woman who is happily married with two beautiful daughters. Her life ought to be perfect. Only her life is dominated by the loss of her mother when she was seven-years-old. She aches to have her mum's advice, to hear her voice, to see her smiling face. One day after some decluttering, Faye's husband brings down a spacehopper box - the very one that Faye remembers playing in as a child. Overwhelmed by nostalgia, she feels a strange kind of connection to the cardboard. After a broken bulb leads her to standing inside of the four cardboard walls, she's suddenly transported back in time to 1977 where her mother is still alive. Torn between the past and the future, Faye has to navigate grief, expectation, and unravel the mystery that seems to surround her mothers death. 

I received this through Net Galley as an ARC and honestly adored it. I didn't know what to expect from Faye, Faraway as not only is it a debut by the author but the premise could've easily flopped. I saw on one site that it was marketed as a mix between Gilmore Girls and The Time Travelers Wife which really don't have anything in common. But it read beautifully. It was such a heartfelt story told through writing that was seamless. Faye as a protagonist was likeable and her problems truly felt like problems, which isn't always something easily accomplished when writing about a middleclass white woman who has the perfect family. 

The mother/daughter dynamics were written very realistically. I'm very close to my mother, so I always magnate towards books that have this as a central topic. I liked that Faye's expectations and memory of her mother were skewed by that daughtery love that so many of us are familiar with. It's so easy to see a parent through rose-tinted glasses. I liked learning about Faye's mother with her, and how different she actually was to the memories.

As with any book or entertainment that discusses time travel, this had the butterfly effect as a crucial storyline. I find this interesting, so although it didn't really bring anything new to the table to this conversation, it was fun reading about the characters discussing it. I'm glad the author brought up the consequences of changing time as she could've so easily skirted over it given that this book is more contemporary than fantasy. 

The one thing that surprised me was how heavily this book spoke about faith. I'm personally not a huge believer in the all mighty but can respect when someone is. However, I don't necessarily want to read about it in my fiction. I think Helen Fisher did a wonderful job at opening up a discussion on religion without ever seeming preachy, allowing it to take over the plot, or fully changing the main characters beliefs to make a "statement". It was handled with the utmost care, which I appreciate. 

Now for the problem.. Faye, Faraway wasn't diverse in the slightest. For a book that's being released in 2021, that's a foresight that can't be overlooked. There was a pretty huge list of characters in this book and, from my memory, not one wasn't white or straight. For that reason alone I had to knock one star from the rating. I hope Helen Fisher does anything to rectify this if she publishes another novel. (Please, please, please, correct me if I'm wrong as my memory isn't the best and I'm going solely from that and my reading notes here.)

All in all, this was a well rounded story that I devoured quickly. The writing reminded me of early Kristin Hannah and Liane Moriarty. It was easy to read while still keeping my interest. For a debut, I'm impressed. Again, thank you to Net Galley for giving me the opportunity to read this before it's release date. 

I'm going to confess something embarrassing, most of the books on my 'favourites' shelf have only been read once. As a teenager, I was an avid rereader. I vividly remember finishing Shadow Kissed and instantly restarting the same book. (I didn't get out the house much) But as I've gotten older and my TBR list has become more hefty, I have a silly sense of guilt when I debate whether to reread something. It feels like a waste of time, but.. errr.. hello? Reading is meant to be fun! In 2021 I'm making a personal goal to reread some books that have been calling out to be for awhile now. Will they still be my favourites? Who knows! There's only one way to find out..

The Bell Jar
Sylvia Plath

This is a 'descent into madness' story revolving around a young woman in the 60's. It's semi biographical with Plath taking heavy inspiration from her own experiences with mental health. There's something about Sylvia Plath's writing that speaks to my heart. It's dark, twisty, but painfully honest. I find myself in her words, which may be a truly awful thing to admit but, yes. This was her only novel ever released and I remember feeling so touched throughout it. It felt like a weighted hand over my heart and I'm both looking forward to giving it a reread and feeling truly darkened by the prospect of reading such a tragic book again.

Everything I Never Told You
Celeste Ng

After a young girl is found dead in a lake, the question arises as to whether she died of suicide. Told through two timelines, we read about the grief the family is experiencing from the loss and we go back to the events that led them to it. This was a truly beautiful book that shattered my heart and clumsily put it back together. Celeste Ng has such a talent for writing about family dynamics that are complicated but ring oh so true to real life. Some people much prefer her second novel Little Fires Everywhere, but for me, Everything I Never Told You is a much more harrowing story. Lydia, the main focus of the story, was a wonderfully written teenage girl who you just wanted to hug. The story is hers, and yet it's told through the other members of the family. It's a really fascinating look at how so many teenagers are almost blanketed by their families own issues. They can get lost in the pain of others. It was a different take on what could've otherwise been a regular 3 star book that focuses on mental health. 

The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo
Taylor Jenkins Reid

Evelyn Hugo is a Hollywood starlet who's always been known for her messy love life - being married seven times does that to a woman. Reaching out a unknown journalist, Evelyn Hugo agrees to a "tell all". Will the world finally learn who her actual true love was? This is a book community darling. Everyone has read it and 99.8% of people love it. Taylor Jenkins Reid is one of my favourite authors and this is an epic novel with a great cast of characters, a compelling story, and is very worthy of a reread. I may go with the audiobook to switch it up, have you listened to this? Would you recommend?

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Stephen Chbosky

Is anyone surprised that this coming-of-age novel is on this list? I tend to reread this book at least once a year. Charlie's story touches my soul in a way that no other book does. It helped me at a time where I really needed to not feel alone about the state of my mental stability. I recently bought the anniversary addition that has added a new letter at the end, so I'm eagerly anticipating this reread. I can't wait to cry all the tears. If you didn't already know, this book is told through a series of letters where Charlie, the protagonists, works through his trauma of losing his Auntie. In high school he meets a ragtag group of friends who welcome him with open arms. It's about identity, love, depression, abuse, and growth as a teenager. Truly wonderful.

Me Before You
Jojo Moyes

Louisa Clark is struggling to find her way as a 20-something girl who still lives at home. When she gets hired to take care of Will, a man who is confined to a motorized wheelchair after a car accident. Together they form a friendship that pushes both to step outside of their comfort-zones. This book got a lot of backlash because of it's disability rep, which I fully understand. I solely enjoyed it because of Lou's character. She inspired me at a time where my life was drastically changing and I needed some inspiration. For that reason, I want to give it a reread to see if it still holds up as a favourite. 

Love Letters to the Dead
Ava Dellaira 

Laurel is a teenage girl who is struggling with the death of her sister. An assignment in class starts a chain of letters that she obsessively writes to various famous people. This is a complete risk as a reread. I first read this when I was around 13-years-old and was seeking something similar to The Perks of Being a Wallflower. I remember being impressed with the writing and finding the inside not matching the outside as it read more adult than I was expecting. Was 13-year-old me smart enough to know that? Probably not, but there's only one way to find out. 

Are there any books that you're hoping to reread this year? Let me know!