Bruno's Current Favourites || That Cat Life


Disclaimer: I allowed my darling son Bruno to write up a post for you all. Now, I truly believe that you'll be safe in his paws but if things get aggressive toward birds or he goes on a tunangent (get it? Tuna + tangent? No?) I cannot be held responsible. 

Yo, my kitty homies. Have you tried this? Hilife chicken is my favourite thing in the world. Well except for myself, obviously. And Mama. Her and chicken are like equal. It's succulent pieces of freeze dried chicken that are so yum they'll make your tail stand up. Every week when Mama goes Bruno shopping I ask for 10000001 packs but does she deliver? Nope. Big fat nope. She says Tesco nor Asda sell it anymore (whoever they are) but I think she just can't count to that many. Sometimes she gets that strange human who gives us paper and boxes to play with to bring some to Bruno, but it doesn't always get delivered. When we do have some, I ask for it multiple times a day and she does give it me when she understands, she's just a bit oblivious sometimes. Like, I'll be sitting right next to the cupboard that holds my food, treats, bowtie and chicken - you know, the necessities to keep Bruno alive - but she just comes and gives Bruno some lovin' and doesn't give chicken, even when I'm asking REALLY loudly. I blame my good looks. She gets so distracted by me. It's difficult being a kitty stud. It's yummy though. Trust me, cats, tuna is so pase. Hilife chicken is the future.

Does your Mama or Dada still expect you to play with a painfully obviously fake mouse that only goes in one direction? That may be good enough for those house cats among us (no offence), but for us rough hunters it is no fun. We've had the real thing. You can't blame the humans, they're easily pleased, but us? We need more. Let me introduce you to.. the Laser. This creature is red and runs like lightening. It's the Kitty Flash. Can you catch the beast? I've totally caught it bunches of times but if you catch it shoot me a comment explaining exactly how you did, so we can, you know, compare meows and stuff. Just. Be detailed. Like, how? Hooooow? Mama says she bought mine from Amazon  as it was cheaper but you can get one from most animal stores, I think. They keep animals in cages though so I don't like to visit them places, what fun is it to kill a birdy that's stuck in a box with holes in it? Way too easy. It's totally not because Mama won't take me there.

If you're like me, you enjoy a nice lay down in the evenings. Or perhaps your on bed rest from a  bad case of hairballs. Just plain bored with life. I am your saviour. Meow at your owner to give over their touchy thing and put on The Youtube for you. There are tons of games on their to entertain our paws. My favourite channels are TV BINI and Gaming Palooza Empire. The games are animated and makes it way less scary, I mean, realistic. Here are some of my personal favourites videos but have a peek and see if you find some that makes your whiskers tingle.

Unlike our owners, we know what to appreciate in life. Now, Bruno discovered this amazing thing that doubles as toy and bed and scratch post, and although I don't like sharing top secret things like this with a bunch of strangers, I will because Mama told me to be 101% honest about my favourite things. Let me introduce you to your new best friend... the cardboard box. Boy, my tail twitches just thinking about this. They're unbelievably great! You need one of these in your life, trust Bruno. I have loads because I'm special, but if your owners are big meanies and won't buy you one, go to a local bin and you'll find one. Humans are stupid. Mama loves me so she puts fluffy blanket and pillows in mine and worn things that smell of her, but to begin with I just stole all her clothes and left them hanging out of my box. Don't know how she saw it, but yeah. She finally got common sense and just gave me stuff. Get yourself a box.

Unlike most fellow kitties, I like sleeping.  My favourite place is on my tower that Mama bought for me for Christmas a few years ago, but sometimes I just have to settle for the bed Mama bought me. I find it hard to get comfortable on it, but I make do. You can buy the tower HERE, I would highly recommend it. Get it? High? It's a tower? B'ahaha.

This invention is great and again, totally Bruno's idea but don't be disheartened, I'm Irish and Welsh so I'm like double the smarts in the brain. If you find yourself feeling bad when your Mama or Dada feed you, clean your toilet, or when you wipe your feet on them, I totally feel you. I was like that when I was a wee kitten, but then Mama bought me magically human called Lady. She's great. Does everything for me and lets me attack her when she's annoying. My Mama says that Lady is her Mama, but that's impossible because I'm the only one with a Mama, right Mama? (This is a note for when Mama reads this. I'm not going catnip.) I do love Lady but she does sometimes put the wrong flavour food down for me, which is so annoying. I just starve myself out of protest and then Mama buys me tuna (which still isn't as good as chicken, but what can a deprived kitty do?) I can't find a picture with lady, so here is one of me again.

Speaking of,  my favourite tuna's are John West Chunks In Brine or Lifestyle Chunks In Brine (but the green label, not blue) Just meowin'.

Okay, I'm done. Back to Mama.

Human typing: I swear I'm not going crazy, I just thought this'd be a funny post. But the more I'm thinking about it and the realisation that you don't personally know my cat so it's very likely you aren't reading it in his voice (think overly squeaky chipmunk) is sinking in, I realise you may just think this is a little too crazy cat lady. Ah well, gave myself a giggle.

What are some of your pets favourite things? Do you have an inside voice for them? Let me know!

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