Bath Musings Ep.03 || "Stop being so sensitive about everything."

1/13/2018


Bath Products Used: 'Rose' Bath Bomb from Grace & Stella Co. Organic, natural, and amazing value!

Songs Listened To: Nothing.

Minutes Wasted: Over 60.


"Anne, you sound really fragile. I'm worried about you." 

"Stop being so sensitive about everything."


Both of these things were said to me within 5 hours. One was written to me by someone who I rarely speak to, and the other was said in person by someone who loves me. Regrettably. the latter was said by the person who ought to be saying the first. It confused me. They were both saying the same thing, I guess, just in their own ways. One seemed caring, and made a lump form in my throat that didn't seem possible the swallow. The other seemed cold, and made a lump form in my throat that didn't seem possible to swallow. Ironic, isn't it?  So similar, yet so different. I guess people are like that too. Their brains most likely formed a similar thought, but the power of speech made their words differ. Was it thoughtlessness by the second? Or the want to come across as kind with the first? I felt conflicted and found myself huddled in the corner of my bed that night, crying, as I tried to make sense of the differing words. In a strange way, it felt they were playing the roles of my head and heart. One so sensible and treating me with kindness, the other making me chip at myself with the need of someone who has just found out there are creatures living under her skin. I wanted to bleed the sadness out in a way that I knew wasn't healthy.

It's weird but reading that back, all I can pick up on is the word "sadness". I was sad. I still am sad. Why does that single word have the ability to sum up the inner workings of myself? When one is experiencing happiness, the word "happy" seems to fall short. If you say the words "I'm happy" to someone, you quickly try to clarify that it isn't only just that you're experiencing. You add on a "but it's so much more than that". Or if you're lucky, you smile at that person who asked and they understand how much weight those two words carry. But with sadness, it's different. If someone asks, or let's face it, usually snaps a "What's wrong?" in your direction, you can't answer with a simple "I'm sad" because they want a description that will, in a sense, prove your sadness. Sometimes there are no reasons behind the sadness, so you know you'll never be able to answer suitably, which in their eyes, will seem as though you were lying or just mistaking a normal down day as sadness. They expect explanations from you, but with a happy day you never have to explain what has brought on the happiness. So logically, you'll tell people when you're happy but you'll cover the sadness with a "nothing" blanket and accept their sighs of frustration or their snide comments, because there is no other option with a better outcome. Is there? I don't know anymore, I'm used to the habit of secrecy.

I've noticed lately that it seems to be a taboo of sorts to be quiet. When I'm having a really rough day, or maybe even a rough night that has seeped into a new day and made me feel exhausted, I'll be somewhat quiet. Not out of choice, but because I can't find the energy to fake enthusiasm for pointless things or find enough of the honesty inside of me to open up to someone. But that isn't allowed, naturally. I'm not allowed to be quiet without people thinking I'm miserable or mad. It's heartbreaking, isn't it? That people label our emotions when we aren't willing to do it ourselves. It ought to be our blank canvas, no matter our actions. But alas, people like to say how we're feeling before we even find enough of a heart rhythm to. I'm cold, I say that not with hatred to myself or with a need for sympathy, it's a fact. I'm cold towards people, especially on those quiet days. And as some have pointed out to me, it makes me "a miserable girl". I won't show my inner hearts workings to you because I don't think you care enough. And believe me, if I'm not willing to, there's reason behind it. Show me compassion, and not just every now and again, and I'll believe you'll be there when I want to fall. But if you make me make me hate myself more than I already do, how can you expect me to depend on you? It feels like self destruction. Like allowing myself to lean on a wobbly fence around a very tall bridge. If you forget to care when it matters, how can I believe you care when it does?

People are oblivious, as ever. And I'm just here, doing to same as ever. It's a treacherous mix that I'm getting tired of.




5 comments

  1. **HOW TO HIRE A HACKER.**

    Hiring a hacker could be one of the hardest things to find on the internet, as hackers prefer to stay hidden and work behind the scene cause of the nature of their job, it is illegal in almost every country to hack people and for this reason hackers rather stay in the dark.

    **WHAT ARE THE SERVICES YOU CAN GET DROM A HACKER?**

    Hackers can provide various kind of services that includes-:
    Phone hack📲📱
    Computer/laptop hack💻
    Emails hack📧
    Social media account hack (including Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat e.t.c)💬
    Data base accessing 📂📁
    Deleted files and data recovery and lots more.🗂️🗃️
    Stealing/Copying Files & Documents From Restricted Networks and Servers ✅
    ▪️Credit Score Manipulation ✅
    ▪️ Deleting Criminal Records✅
    ▪️Bitcoin Multiplication✅
    ▪️Crypto Scam Money Recovery ✅

    Hackers are very hard to find, while most are found on the dark web some prefer to work in the open as not many people can get to the dark web.

    **If you looking to hire a hacker, I highly would recommend the services of PYTHONAX. This are a group who have been known to work in the open yet stay undetected from authorities.**

    Another Amazing thing you benefit from using PYTHONAX SERVICES is that you get a Legit and the best Hacking service, As we provide you with Professional Hackers who have their Hacking Areas of specialization. They perform every Hacking services there is, using special Hacking tools they get from the dark web.

    ✳️ SPECIAL HACKING SERVICES-: They also specialize in Scam Bounty, as they can help you chase down SCAMMERS and help individuals RECOVER Money stolen from them by this online SCAMMERS. Please be watchful about this SCAMMERS. They post ❌ENTICING TESTIMONIES and it quite Convincing.

    Contact-: pythonaxservices@gmail.com
    pythonaxhacks@gmail.com

    PYTHONAX.
    2022 © All Right Reserved.



    ReplyDelete
  2. CRYPTO INVESTMENT SCAM RECOVERY

    By now you should know about the Crypto investment scam. They are all over the internet posting Enticing adverts and making false testimonies about themselves using this to Lure people to their advantage and Scamming them, But you need not to worry, cause you can get all your money back.

    You might have also come across some individuals that say they will give you guarantee on successful trades but they only end up as SCAMMERS as well. You here them say stuffs like 200% guaranteed in just 2 weeks and when you go into trade with them, they start telling you to pay profits percentage before you can get your income. These are all liars please avoid them. But if you have been a victim of this guys, then you should contact PYTHONAX now!

    The big Question is “Can someone Recover their money lost to Binary Option and Scam!?
    I will say yes, and will tell you how.

    The only way to Recovery your money back is by hiring HACKERS to help break into the Scam platform Database Security System using the information you provide them with, Extract your file and get back your money. It seems like a really impossible thing to do, I will tell you, it should be impossible, but with the use of specially designed softwares known to HACKERS and Authorities (such as The FBI, CIA e.t.c) it is possible and the only way to recover your money.

    PYTHONAX are a group of hackers who use their hacking skill to hunt down SCAMMERS and help individuals recovery their money from Internet SCAMMERS.
    We just need the contact details of the SCAMMERS and Paymnet Info and within 4-8 hours your money will be return to you.

    You can contact us via the emails below;
    Help@pythonax.tech
    Hackservices@pythonax.tech


    Pythonax.
    2023 © All Right Reserved.

    ReplyDelete
  3. SSN DOB DL ADDRESS FULLZ
    SIN DOB ADDRESS FULLZ
    NIN DOB ADDRESS FULLZ
    High Credit Scores Pros
    Original & Real ID/DL Scan front back with Selfie
    CC with CVV Fullz
    Cloning Card Dumps Track 101 & 202
    UBEREATS|DOORDASH|PUA|SBA|UI|Tax Return Filling Fullz
    Young Age Fullz
    Business EIN Company Fullz

    Specific info FULLZ also providing (CITIES|STATES|AGE|DOB|ZIP's)
    Tools & Tutorials providing too
    SMTP|RDP|C-Panel|SHELLS|Web-Mailer|Brutes|OfficeSMTP

    Many Other Stuff Available
    Legit stuff & Guaranteed
    If anything going wrong I'll replace
    No Refund|Only Replacement

    Contact Here
    Telegram @killhacks | @leadsupplier
    ICQ 752822040 | @killhacks
    Email hacksp007 @ DNMX . org
    Skype @peeterhacks

    ReplyDelete
  4. YOU GOT SCAMMED ⁉️
    HERE IS WHAT YOU NEED TO DO ‼️

    Contact “PYTHONAX” Immediately ✅✔️ using any of the emails below -:
    Pythonaxservices@gmail.com
    Pythonaxhacks@gmail.com
    Services@pythonax.tech

    Contacting Authorities might be helpful but most times this scam cases are not taking seriously especially if the money lost isn’t as much or people scammed aren’t as many. Most times people feel ashamed to contact authorities.

    WHO OR WHAT IS PYTHONAX⁉️

    PYTHONAX are a group of skilled hackers who use their skills to help individuals who got scammed and defrauded by tracking down the scammers using information provided. The internet today is filled with fake adverts used to scam people of their money and there isn’t really anyway to stop it. The adverts promoting this scams are so convincing and realistic that you really can’t differentiate it from what is legit and what isn’t.

    Some of the common scam that really takes a lot from people are things like-:
    ❌ Crypto & Forex Trading Scam
    ❌ Bank Loan Scam
    ❌ Buying & Purchasing Products Online
    ❌ Dating Scam (Catfishing)
    ❌ Black

    HOW WILL PYTHONAX HELP, YOU MIGHT ASK❓

    We what PYTHONAX basically do is use information you can provide about a scammer, to determine the best strategy to help you get your money back. Everything PYTHONAX do is professional and won’t be traced back to you as they keep their work discreet and clean.

    It doesn’t matter how much you were scammed, doesn’t matter what you were in contact with the scammers for, they will take up your case and will do everything within their disposal to get your money back.

    If you happen to be a victim of scammers and you reading this now, take a deep breath and stay calm, you are getting your money back. You are just an email away.

    Contact Email-:
    Pythonaxservices@gmail.com
    Pythonaxhacks@gmail.com
    Services@pythonax.tech








    PYTHONAX
    Service ©️2024.



    ReplyDelete
  5. FRESH USA UK CANADA FULLZ PROS LEADS T3l3Gr@m:(at)killhacks
    SSN DOB DL ADDRESS
    SIN DOB ADDRES MMN
    NIN DOB DL ADDRESS SORT CODE

    FRESH SPAMMED
    FRESH DATABASES
    GENUINE & LEGIT INFO

    Fullz available are

    SSN DOB DL Address employee & bank fullz
    SIN DOB Address MMN
    NIN DOB DL Address Sort Code
    High Credit Score Pros
    Young & Old Age Fullz
    Business EIN Company fullz
    CC with Cvv & Billing Address
    Dumps with Pin Track 101 & 202
    Real ID|DL Front back with Selfie & SSN USA
    Real DL|ID Front & Back with Selfie only UK USA CANADA etc.
    Passport Photos with selfie
    Company Owner Fullz
    Fullz with DL Expiry
    KYC UberEats & DoorDash Account Opening Fullz
    SBA|PUA|UI|Tax Return Filling fullz
    Bulk Fullz Available

    Cont@ct U$

    (at)leadsupplier - (at)killhacks - T3l3 Gr@m
    (at)killhacks - 752822040 - I_C_Q
    (at)peeterhacks - $kyp3

    USA UK CANADA All States Fullz|Pros|Leads Available
    You can get specific Info fullz as well
    Gender|Age|City|State|Zip|Bank Info
    Everything will be provided fresh & never sold before

    ReplyDelete

Latest Instagrams

© Rooting Branches. Design by FCD.